Mattoon 

The armpit of Hell which is set in rural Illinois

Im from Mattoon, Illinois.

Im sorry to hear that.

Mattoon by altosax88 July 10, 2008

Mattoon, Illinois 

The pit of hell that is filled with redneck hillbillies that love going to Cracker Barrel and putting out there confederate flags too, the kids are also high on meth and are toxic and want to fight eachother 30 million fucking times a day.

Wow.. what is that smell? Oh wait.. I’m in Mattoon, Illinois I forgot.

Mattoon, Illinois by berriesandcream8767 September 21, 2021

The Mattoon Minister

Gay man sex in a church bathroom so loud that everyone can hear it.

Those two dudes just ran into church and gave them all The Mattoon Minister!

The Mattoon Minister by Bob Loblaw Nohabla December 3, 2025

Mattson

One fly guy! Causes wetness of the panties in all genders. Often called "snake bite" after the scar on his right arm from his encounter with diamondback rattlesnake. The snake was dead within minutes.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Whoa Chuck! Where'd you get that black eye?

Chuck Norris: Goddamn Mattson!

Mattson by Kilodoublemike October 10, 2013

Matton

A Matton is a sweet and caring person, usually used as a last name. They are loyal, kind, and very good in bed. They are funnya as well and always will cheer you up.

Mattons are good to have around when you need a friend.

"OMG! I hear Matton is going to the party tonight! he is SO hot!"

Matton by CynthiaBlack February 13, 2012

martooni

Usually, the last in a long series of martinis drinked.

*giggle* I think I had tee many martoonis. *hiccup*

martooni by ToonGirl15 March 10, 2004

martooni

A martini with an extremely generous amount of gin (or vodka) and practically nothing else.

A good martooni packs a wallop.

martooni by Rob_H2734 May 24, 2017