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Masturbatone

The tone of voice you unwillingly use on the phone when you're trying to jerk off to the other person's voice or to muted porn (because what he/she is saying is too boring for you to care).
Rich: *Shaky voice* Yeah... Uhuh... Eheheh. Cool.
Alisa: Are masturbating to me?!
Rich: HUH!? No! Why???
Alisa: Because you're using masturbatone... Ew.
by Big Boy Blue March 26, 2010
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masturbatone

to tone ones muscles solely through masturbation
that guy is totally masturbatone look at his arms
by guy in da corner February 28, 2011
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Masturbatone

The muscle tone one gets from masturbating frequently and rigorously.
"Hey, have you seen Gary? Did he start going to the gym over summer?"

"Are you kidding? That's just masturbatone."

"Wow, he must have masturbated a lot these past few months!"

"This is a really awkward conversation for two people to have about another"
by Creative@College March 20, 2010
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masturbate and switch

Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.

This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!

On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.

On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.

Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!

Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!

But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!

Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.

Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!

Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023
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masturbating to the dictionary

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.
i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?
by runninghighkid August 4, 2018
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Comedic Masturbation

When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.
My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.
by K-Rista-Raaah July 22, 2016
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masturbate

Act people commit when browsing Urban Dictionary
by 32121 July 22, 2016
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