In order to assure the highest levels of quality
work and productivity from members, it
will be our policy to keep all members
well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)
We are trying to give our members more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your Duke. You
will be immediately placed at the
top of the S.H.I.T list, and our Vice Dukes are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H I.T. you can handle.
Members who don't take S H I.T.
will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMERGENCY EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).
Those who
fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously
will have to go to
EXTRA ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T). Since our Vice Dukes took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a
job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (
B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).
For members who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we
will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).
Thank you.