The act of wacking off, jacking off, stroking off, rubbing one out, chokin the chicken, flogging the dolphin, milking the trouser snake, masturbating....etc
Even though I am at work,sometimes I feel it neccessary to run to the bathroom and put the choke hold on the one-eyed warrior.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.