An unknown action that somehow is necessary to life. Shocking events, positive or negative, sometimes inhibit a person from being able to 'even', resulting in the person 'literally dying'.

Scholars are unsure about what bodily functions are described by the word 'even'.
I'm literally dying because I can't even.

That event that unfolded before my eyes was so startling and against my expectations, that I have lost all my ability to even. Please call an ambulance.
by The Almaster July 18, 2014
The name of an incredibly handsome, sexy, big dicked, hung, jacked, ripped, anabolic, well-groomed, beautiful, slippery, big-handed, womanizing and perfect male individual. They're usually very good at the sex.
Oh man, that Even sure has a big dick!

Oh my god, i wish i had someone named Even in my life!

Oh my god, Even is so incredibly handsome, sexy, big dicked, hung, jacked, ripped, anabolic, well-groomed, beautiful, slippery, big-handed, womanizing and such a perfect male individual. He is also good at the sex.
by DickieAmputee February 6, 2019
Scandinavian name

A person with a great personality and a big... heart.

He use most of his energy to make others happy, but barely have enough left to make himself happy.

His humor is one of a kind, and he love to make dry and edgy jokes.
"Even told me a soooo bad joke that its good, i can't stop dying of laughter inside."

*Gets a compliment* "Aww, did you just do an Even? I cant even..."
by Dank_ooF December 30, 2019
Even is a disease men can get if they spend too much time masturbating.
It causes their penis to fall off, makes them enjoy Donald Duck & Co, and turns their hair red.
"Oh no! I've gotten Even! How will I go on?! I knew I shouldn't have watched that last porno movie!"
by Pål R. October 3, 2003
you are disputing a statement
He said he was from Wanganui and I was like "not even!"
by duncan October 11, 2003
A phrase used by parents, bosses, supervisor or any person in a position of authority to all the stupid "what if" questions that are raised in a given situation.
Mom: "Put your toys away we are going to Grandma's."
Kid: "What I don't want to go?"
Mom: "We are going to Grandma's even if I have to drag you there."
by jsd9632 February 6, 2012
This is a term commonly used in oakville. A state of denial. The term is used to strongly deny something.
Oakville Kid: Yo i heard you were kickin it old school with corbins mom last night brooo !!!
Oakville Kid 2: Yo NOT EVEN !
by steveceeeeee September 5, 2005