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furnisexual 

Someone sexually oriented to the movable articles in a room or an establishment that make it fit for living or working.

I.e. a person who completely lacks sexual interest in anything human, much less alive. But, unlike someone or something that is asexual or simply of other orientations or fetishes that don't involve living or human targets, a furnisexual desires to and probably attempts to fuck chairs, tables etcetera.

The term is also thrown around by "normal" people for a cheap laugh or shock value.
"I'm so sorry about what happened to the new leather couch but I wasn't under the influence of any substances or attempting some pathetic form of masturbation. Mom. Dad. There's something I need to tell you. I'm a furnisexual."

"My rents are on their way home to bitch about all the shit I did this weekend. While I'm arguing with them I think I'll slip in a bullshit confession about being a furnisexual. I'm not sure if they'll be amused and it'll lighten the impact of the other stuff or if they'll put me in serious therapy and/or drug me up heavily but either way I win, right?"
Related Words

Furnisexual 

A person that is intimate and/or will have sex with furniture.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about John? I heard he fucks chairs.

Person 2: Yeah, he must be a furnisexual.

Funsexual 

Not labeling your sexual preference do to certain sexual acts as gay/lesbian but just a type of sex life you enjoy because it’s pleasurable and fun.
Woman: I do like occasionally licking pussy however I don’t consider myself bi or a lesbian I just consider myself funsexual.
Funsexual by Mush8806 November 11, 2018

funsexual 

The sexual (or romantic) attraction to fun people, regardless of gender or other factors.
Yes but you will never be as funsexual as Captain Jack Harkness.
funsexual by pinkplushdino July 10, 2011

Fundysexual 

Watches dreamsmp to much and writes wattpad storys about the characters fucking. A sad exuse for being a furry.
wow hes such a Fundysexual
Fundysexual by CraftablWithAGun November 9, 2021

fungi sexual 

One who is sexually attracted to Fungi. All they ever think of, is to procreate with fungi in the wild or in bed.
Person 1: Who do you like ?

Person 2: That fungi that's growing in the garden. I'm so Fungi sexual

Person 1: Get yourself mentally checked!
fungi sexual by Antiquity February 21, 2023
More from Urban Dictionary
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

Surf Dracula Syndrome 

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026

Northstarring

Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.
Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026
Word of the Day on October 23, 2026
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