fuckbod

A complete and utter twat (cunt, jiz monkey or the like)

Dave decided to have a wank in the hotel car park what a complete fuckbod

by General snotty bottom March 14, 2020

FuckBod

Fuckbod. Noun. A tragic subspecies of the classic fuckboy, but aged like expired milk in cargo shorts. Specifically, a man forty-plus years old who still believes he's running prime fuckboy game—negging, ghosting, sliding into DMs with fire emojis and "wyd princess" with the devil face—while sporting a full-on dad bod. The kind that jiggles when he tries to do a push-up or flex for a mirror selfie.
He's convinced his "experience," receding hairline hidden under a backwards cap, and that one gold chain from two-thousand-seven make him irresistible. In reality, he's one bad Tinder bio away from being called "daddy" ironically, pops a little blue pill just to keep up appearances, and refers to his beer gut as "gains."
Tells twenty-five-year-olds he's "not like other guys his age" while wearing New Balance dad shoes to the club and triple-texting at three in the morning after the Viagra kicks in. Peak delusion: thinks the swipes are for his charm, not pity or algorithmic mercy. And yeah... that's the whole sad, glorious circus.

"Tinder bio: 'Experienced gentleman who knows what he wants 👅' Translation: fuckbod who refers to his beer belly as 'gains' and keeps Viagra in the glovebox."

by Crybaby01 February 28, 2026

underqualified fuckboy

A fuckboy who isn't good looking or personable enough to merit the large bodycount he inevitable shares with everyone he meets.

'I don't understand how Jared gets so many girls. What an underqualified fuckboy.'

by wastedisposal November 2, 2019

FuckboyMurphy

Irish Fuckboy. Contrary to what the term implies, they don't quite know how to fuck and aren't always "boys". Leprechaun-sized dicks, no pot of gold at end of this rainbow. Legends in their own minds, some fuckboys have played in the NFL, and although their stats suck tragically, they continue to use that fact to score side pussy. Fuckboys usually claim to have the "biggest, fattest, hardest cock you'll ever see" and when actual events go down, you are left weeping. Not because they tore up and "destroyed" your vag but because their overgrown clit barely left any impression beyond disappointment. Fuckboys...tend to scream like bitches during orgasm and can't tell when you fake yours. You, being polite and caring, coddle and tell them "they are grrrrreat". Day after, always expect a text asking not how you are but whether you're limping from their overzealous efforts to which you should reply..."Limping? Barely. I'm fucking river dancing at how forgettable and regrettable you are". Fuckboys don't even make good boy toys. But they do like toys...up their ass.

FuckboyMurphy gives true meaning to the Irish Curse...huge feet, huge hands, huge ego...toddler prick. fuckboy fuckboi

by TruthFairy24 October 22, 2015

Old Fuckboy

A 40+ year old man who still acts like a young fuckboy. The old fuckboy has an ex-wife (or two) who he refers to as a "pyscho." This may be true. What is also true is that the ex-wife of the old fuckboy is just a woman who spent years dealing with relentless narcissism, emotional manipulation and cheating, and now believes that the old fuckboy is evil and must be exterminated. The old fuck boy, having had decades of practice, is adept at gaslighting. Emotionally, he is a 7 year old. He is incapable of having adult conversations about relationships, yet insists he's the best, most affectionate boyfriend. The old fuckboy having spent his 20s and 30s being a born-again asshole, and despite having gone to college, probably has a bullshit job, the income of which goes to child support. He will therefore constantly ask you for money. The old fuckboy can sniff out when you have had enough of his bullshit and will act like a decent human being for 60 seconds in order to stay in your good graces. Worst of all, not only can the old fuckboy make you come like gangbusters Every Single Time, he is aware of the relationship between sex and oxytocin, and makes sure he fucks you regularly enough so the feelings of love/trust felt during sex don't dissipate, also known as dickmatizing or dickmatization.

Do not make the mistake of thinking you can remain in control and use the old fuckboy for sex. He's a wily old fart and will find a way to turn the tables so that he's using you.

Conversation at a College Reunion

Keisha: OMG, look who just walked in the door! How does my hair look?
Renee: Nah girl, he a old fuckboy and can dickmatize you and ruin your credit before the Superbowl half-time show is over.

by Artichoke Hearts321 October 31, 2018

Fuckboyardee

A group of fuckboys

"look at all those fuckboys."
"It's a fuckboyardee."

by Awkward-nerd-in-some-fandoms December 1, 2015

fuckbook

Used when "facebook" seems to take ages to do stuff, like chatting or uploading photos etc

I couldnt chat on fuckbook last night, it was going too slow.

I tried to load up all my holiday photos, but fuckbook was messing me about.

by Peters a star May 2, 2009