fontune

my girlfriends speech impediment

got a nice couch called a fontune

by mrweetard January 21, 2022

Agent of Fortune

An Agent of Fortune is a Traveler not anchored by standard materialism. Although he may desire material things, his position actually influences and inspires other people to make decisions beneficial to their future of physical and spiritual needs. Legend has it; the Agent of Fortune is picked by a supreme spiritual entity or entities. And through his indoctrination as such, he has seen or been to the future and therefore is cursed because of what he knows or has seen. Supposedly their movement through time is completely different than normal people. They may not seem as affected by certain events or even the passage time like other people. Another quality they possess is being annoyingly positive in the worst of situations. You may meet one and never know; which is why they remain so obscure. They also phase in and out of social settings as if they were never gone or even there. And that's because of their relationship to time. Unfortunately they can't make people choose the correct decision or path. That is still left up to the individual in question.

The best example that can be given for an "Agent of Fortune", is for a person to think back from where they are now, to what influenced their success. If it was a man, then he was most likely an Agent of Fortune or a male muse, likewise, if it was a woman, then she was a Muse. Agent of Fortune examples are obscure; whereas the examples of a Muse are bountiful. Like the Oracle in the movie the Matrix, starring Keanu Reeves (Neo), the Oracle only told him what he needed to hear to make proper decisions, not necessarily what situation truly existed. Although the Oracle already knew the situation.

by beowulf486 September 18, 2013

Fortune cookie

Furry slang that refers to a female dog's vagina due to it's similar shape to a Chinese dessert cookie. The female equivalent of a “red rocket” being used to describe a dog's penis.

Ron: Do you remember that red female dog from the movie Balto?

Bob: Yeah, I wonder how big is her fortune cookie.
Rob: Get help.

by FlyingFrog762 March 5, 2022

Goon Of Fortune

Derived from the popular game show 'Wheel of Fortune', this involves pegging a number bags of goon to a rotary clothesline such as the very Australian, Hills Hoist. Partners stand around the clothesline and the host (usually in a dress) spins the clothesline and goon of fortune is shouted out. When the bags stop whatever partners, one must scull the goon whilst the other partner performs some sort of stunt (running around, push ups etc) come back and tag their partner who stops drinking. This continues until the goon runs out.

1: Dude, what happened to your shirt.
2: Goon of fortune.

by spooned May 24, 2005

Fortune Cookie Religion

Fortune Cookie Religion describes religious beliefs that are not based on reading religious texts in their entirety but by reading one disjointed verse at a time, as though getting small doses of wisdom akin to a fortune cookie.

The reader then forces that one short verse to apply to their lives and those around them without reading the chapters before or after. This style of religion creates a tendancy for the words to be misinterpretted or taken out of context. Also the reader usually does very little to understand the culture at the time, or other inferences surrounding the time and place that the scripture was written.

In essence it is a shallow religious base comprised of little effort or research on the part of the person. Someone who is Fortune Cookie Religious likes little sayings, quotes, and things with bits of scripture on them, to outwardly show to others that they are religious, but rarely do they read their religious texts themselves. They wait for someone else to tell them what to believe.

Jane's Fortune Cookie Religion involves her reading her Zen Calendar every day.

Tom's made a Fortune Cookie Religion out of reading his horoscope.

Sally's turned reading the Bible into a Fortune Cookie Religion with the way she opens it and points to a random verse, hoping that it will show her the way.

by Lindsay Archer July 14, 2007

Nigger fortune cookie

A piece of corn bred with a food stamp baked in the middle of it.

Otis, look at Leroy. He done got himself a nigger fortune cookie on his way back from the liquor store!

by Samurai Sam September 14, 2006

fortune cookie-ing

verb. to help someone in a time of need and support them. to give someone cliche advice that would sound like advice received from a fortune cookie. this advice may seem silly but take it seriously, it WILL help

Jose: I don't know what to do

Kat: the heart wants what the heart wants, let it guide you

Jose: hah, nice fortune cookie-ing

by RejectedWeIrDo April 22, 2011