Faecal 

It means of, pertaining to or consisting of faeces; shitty, crappy, excremental.

“Malcolm, I’ve seen toilet bowls full of rotting faecal matter with more charisma than you!”

Faecal by AKACroatalin April 20, 2015

Faecal Encephalopathy 

If you wind up in the emergency room because, say, you were trying to launch bottle rockets out of your anus, you can expect to hear this term thrown around. Latin, or pseudo-latin, is often used to convey unflattering terms and make it sound grandiloquent to the uninformed (or faecal-encephalopathic) ear.

Variations include Cranio-Rectal Syndrome and Cranial Rectosis, presumably for when the patient has shit for brains

that guy has some serious Faecal Encephalopathy

Faecal Encephalopathy by Doc. Vmill July 3, 2010

Faecal touch 

The opposite of the 'midas touch'. Rather than everything one touches turning to gold, to have the 'faecal touch' means everything one touches turns to shit.

This can be applied to people who are generally incompetent or just going through a stretch of bad luck.

'How's work going at the moment mate?'

'Just awfully dude, I definitely have the faecal touch. It doesn't matter what I seem to do or how hard I try, everything I am involved with completely fucks up and turns to shit.

Faecal touch by AceDegen July 27, 2010

faecal predator 

One who lures an unsuspecting individual into a poo situation, aka a shituation.

Posing as a musician, the faecal predator lured the unsuspecting barman into the toilets where a poo situation occurred.

faecal predator by The Poo Victim November 14, 2013

faecal japan 

The act of sitting in a position whereby the anus is located above the head, possibly in a bath. Whilst suffering from acute explosive diahrroea, the culprit sprays their own body and face with liquid faeces. Most often seen on the shock website www.tubgirl.com

I was bored, and a little tetchy; I guess it was my irritable bowel syndrome - either way, I went for a fecal japan.

faecal japan by Malcy Bee February 13, 2005

Faecal Fuck 

Having your significant other snap off a shit into a condom, freezing it, then using it as a dildo.

"Where did Shannan dissapear to?"
" Down the servo with Ricky to buy condoms for a faecal fuck, That bitch loves the shit out of him aye"
"literally"

Faecal Fuck by ShannanD July 25, 2023

faecal position 

Feeling like, and possibly smelling like, and lying in the position of a turd

I hauled a whole bottle of white lightening and spent the next day in the faecal position on the lounge floor

faecal position by Elizabeth April 7, 2005