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face like a welders bench 

based on a used welders bench, when welding lots of small lumps of metal fly of the object being welded as sparks and solidify on the bench giving it a spotted lumpy look. therefore a girl with a face like a welders bench is ugly, spotty, has a pock marked face, generally rough and not a pleasant sight
A: eeeuurrgh, that lucy's got a face like a welders bench
B: yeh she's well butters

face like a grieving cod!

Jack Dee, with your face like a grieving cod!

Decorate her face like a cake 

To nut in a girl's face similarly to a baker decorating a cake with icing.
I finally found a chick that takes it in the kisser. Last night, she was acting like a dirty slut so I felt the need to decorate her face like a cake.

Face like a kicked-in shit can 

A description of an ugly man or woman. Meaning that their face resembles a can of shit that has been kicked about

facelicker 

Someone whose favorite pastimes are standing too close, wiping their contaminated hands on their face, and licking other facelickers' faces.
Avoid that facelicker over there, he's a virus waiting to happen.
facelicker by NeptuneLord April 14, 2020

Face like a half sucked mango 

An Australian term for a woman with a very unattractive face.
Ian- "Hey check out Helen, she has an amazing body"
Kevin- "Yeah but she has a face like a half sucked mango"