douchemag

Someone who constantly draws in completely douche individuals despite trying NOT to. Whether it be shitty boyfriends, unreliable friends, or OCD co-workers, a douchemag seems to be the powerhouse magnet who brings them ALL of them into their lives.

"Miranda must be a complete and total douchemag! Her newest boyfriend stole her checkbook to pay a hooker!"

"I'm pretty convinced I'm a douchemag because I can't count on any of my lame ass friends."

by Blisslyke April 21, 2009

Douchemag

When a publication, particularly a periodical, "jumps the shark" and publishes articles showing a trend towards radicalization of their editorial concept, in an attempt to shock readers and sell magazines, but instead creating a backlash that gets those involved with publishing said magazine called douchebags and worse. When a publication becomes a douchemag it ceases to be relevant in the popular culture.

Rolling Stoned publishing the Boston bomber Tsarneyev on the cover made them a douchemag.

Recoil magazine publishing the comment that comment about civilians not needing a certain gun sure made them a douchemag, and it almost ended the magazine.

by Bob5000 August 27, 2013

President Douchebag

Donald J. Trump

If the all Toothless Morons in the Midwest and Cretins in the Florida Panhandle didn’t believe the Russian state sponsored Propaganda flooded onto social media, we would have never elected President Douchebag; that is why they all have a garage full of products from Ronco like Popeil's Pocket Fisherman.

by napalona zając January 7, 2017

schrodinger’s douchebag

One who makes douchebag statements, particularly sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were “just joking” or dead serious based on whether other people in the group approve or not.

"Oh man women should just stay in the kitchen, it's the only place they're useful"
*with one group* "Haha just kidding, that's sexist"
*with anther* "lol amirite"
"You're a total schrodinger’s douchebag you know that right?"

by theoriginalspike October 23, 2013

douchebag febreeze

When a douchebag gets ready for an evening out on the town he wants to smell his freshest. Nothing in his arsenal of body sprays, lotions, colognes, deodorants and the like are as important as his "douchebag febreeze", aka AXE BODY SPRAY. A douchebag will thoroughly saturate themself with their AXE BODY SPRAY; they cannot use a normal amount, as they don't think it will be enough to keep them fresh throughout the evening. This is to be applied right before walking out the door, as the smell needs to be as strong as possible for interaction with the ladies. If ever you find yourself getting a whiff of what smell like hugh hefners balls dipped in kerosene, watch out; there is a douchebag on the prowl. Run, fast and far.

brad--i need to smell fresh tonight bro

tj--use my axe body spray broski, there's half a bottle left, is that enough?

brad--i guess it will have to be brah spray my swoled up muscles down

brad & tj--(fist pumping) fresh to death!!!

-brad & tj walk into club-

sara--mmm do i smell douchebag febreeze? that's my kind of guy!!

by the stank pit January 13, 2013

douchebag tell

An act or attribute that signals to others that someone is a douchebag; mark of a douchebag.

The first known use of this phrase was by Taran G, Atlanta, GA, March, 2010

Liking your own Facebook status is a douchebag tell.

by jacandy July 22, 2010

douchebag casting call

When a needy & pathetic girl posts/tweets her desperation for a boyfriend. Usually getting the attention of every douchebag who's able to read it, knowing they'll need little to no effort to get her, keep her, and treat her as crappy as they want.

Post: "I really wish I just had someone to be by my side. I'm so tired of being alone. Why doesn't anyone out there want me?"
Reply: "You know damn well that's a douchebag casting call. Now every asswipe is gonna come running to treat you like crap."

by Raixor November 24, 2013