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douchehalf

(Noun) One who is not a douchewhole; a person who has not attained a state of douchewholeness or its spiritual counterpart, doucheholiness; that is, the state of being merged or one with Almighty Douchegod, whose Wholly Doucheword and only begotten son, Douchechrist is prophecied to return from the Doucheheavens in a Douche-ocolypse of divine Douchejudgment. It says so right here in the pages of this Douchebook.
A: "Honey, where's the Douchebook? I need to say my doucheprayers."
B: "Mm, someone sounds guilty that he was a douchehalf, and didn't go to Douchemass last week."
A: "What a fine Douchechristian wife I married. Honey, I'm going to go around irrelevantly telling total strangers to 'have a doucheblessed day' all the time, just 'cause I feel so doucheblessed to be your douchehusband. Praise Douchegod!"
by ignorethesefourwords November 13, 2012
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doucheballer

Any man or woman stupid, naive and insecure enough to allow themselves to be charmed and taken advantage of by a douchebag or doucheball.
That Jenn is such a doucheballer; she's had more narcissistic/sociopathic assholes inside her than the New York Stock Exchange.
by theonlyprof June 15, 2013
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douchevalanche

When something so douchey happens that it feels like an avalanche came down on you.
When I heard that Nickelback was named "Band of the Decade" by Billboard, it was like an abominable douchevalanche came rushing down upon my faith in mankind.
by diddle bomb December 26, 2009
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douchewaffle

An offshoot of the highly popular douchebag. Use in a derogatory sense.

Literal definition: a waffle made using the contents of a douchebag.

Abstract definition: a person who has surpassed the usual level of a 'douchebag' and is now at a whole new level of doucheness.
You drank the last beer? You douchewaffle!
by Kendall October 3, 2004
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douchehelm

A douche-helm is a leader in douchebaggery. This person personifies everything douche to the extent that just being around said person will make you a douchebag.

A douchehelm will sometimes gain control of an audience and hypnotize by presence alone. Everyone will quiet down and listen to his every word as if he was a great leader yet there's this lingering itch in the back of your mind wondering why the hell everyone is listening to this douchebag.
Dr.Phil, Kanye West, Ryan Seacrest

"Ever since that douchehelm showed up the entire team turned into major nancy boy cunts."

"If you see a douchehelm, run the fuck away as fast as you can before he infects you with gay."
by NBCCbitch November 5, 2009
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Douchehag

An otherwise decent woman who insists on hanging out with douchebags.
Yeah, she's pretty hot, but I can't stand those dudes that she hangs out with all the time. She's a total douchehag.
by Clay Crenshaw August 9, 2006
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douchehole

A slang, joking insult used for humor, a simple combination of douchebag and asshole.
Our president is a complete douchehole!
by Jaime Rae May 27, 2006
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