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counting shoulders 

its a term used to put your arm around someone. you start with counting ur far shoulder away from them as one, two which is the closest one to them, 3 their first and 4th the farthest one on the other side and keep ur arm around them
have you ever counted shoulders before?”
“dude, i just used the counting shoulders trick on katie and it worked!”
counting shoulders by kathryn money September 25, 2018

counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees 

Assuming you will have something before you actually have it; similar to "counting your chickens before they hatch" (which is commonly attributed to Aesop).
"The Mariners could do better than expected this year."

"Let's not kid ourselves. Check your premises before you make a prediction."

"I'm assuming a number of things go right. Maybe I'm just counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees."

clunging gobshite 

vincent told the chat member a load of clunging gobshite
clunging gobshite by binslop March 22, 2021

pink clouding

Pretending everything is okay to everyone when it really isn't.
(Girl jumps to her death). Cop: "I just talked to her yesterday. She was pink clouding, and I knew it." ~Amanda Rollins, Law & Order SVU
pink clouding by Hollibird May 22, 2017

Counting With Jerold 

Counting With Jerold count to 4
okay
1
2
3
4

Ass Clowning 

Where drunk concertgoers break into cars in the parking lot and defecate on the driver’s seat.
If you’ve ever been to a No Talent Ass Clowns concert, you’ve probably seen or heard about “ass clowning” where drunk concertgoers break into cars in the parking lot and defecate on the driver’s seat. It is rumored to have started in 1996 at Consumption Auditorium when Nick Ray Tummo first committed the act. “I was drunk and my friends all thought it was funny so I figured why not keeping doing it at shows? It gives me a kind of special spiritual connection to the concert.”
Ass Clowning by Lars Gunblade June 14, 2011