Person Under Centurylink Monopoly: Wow! I just increased my speeds from 0.
25 Mbps to 2 Mbps with this new upgrade!
Lucky Person Living Somewhere Else: Aww, yeah! Upgrading from 30 Mbps to 60 Mbps!
Person Under Centurylink Monopoly: HOW ARE YOUR SPEEDS POSSIBLE!?
Lucky Person Living Somewhere Else: I have a good ISP!