N. The ultimate in the range of awkward items or animals. An individual intending to correctly execute an awkward beached
whale should lie face down on the ground and thrash their legs whilst pressed together as an impersonation of a
whale's flipper. Then while doing this, the individual should rock from side to side whilst helplessly hitting the ground directly to their side with limp arms. The awkward beached
whale is most successfully executed by lying on a floor, but it can also be executed on a table or chair.
Awkward beached
whale should be used to best affect at a
time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to break the ice of any situation.
*WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED
WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY INAPPROPRIATE AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!
1) Perfect time to do awkward beached
whale.
(In a room where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "
wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached
whale as directed above)
Person 2:
wow who is that crazy man ?
Person 3: "It's an awkward beached
whale !"
Person 2: "haha that's hilarious"
Multiple people laugh and awkwardness stops.
2) Wrong time for an awkward beached whale.
(At a formal occassion where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "
wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: (silence)
Person 3: (silence)
Person 2: (silence)
Awkwardness increases and people ignore the individual who feels even more awkward for increasing the awkwardness and for messing up his/her formal clothes.