asphyxicake

The act of suffocating oneself with a sufficient quantity of cake frosting. (Cake optional.)

The scheduling for this project is so absurd, I don't know what to do other than asphyxicake myself.

by fdfdcfdfdfictifire August 13, 2019

asphyxiated

not being able to breathe. choking. cutting off all oxygen.

"asphyxiated watch me bleed
the life support was cut , the knot was too tight"

by brittany aesthetic May 1, 2007

asphyxiate

To strangle or otherwise constrict the flow of oxygen to the vital organs, eventually causing death.

Invented by the Sir the Third Earl of Asphyxiate, esquire.

Ah, shit, I asphyxiated that prostitute!!!

by bone squid January 25, 2005

Asphyxiate the poultry

Choking the chicken, a.k.a. mastuerbating, beating your meat like it owes you money.

There's a girl in class that's so hot that I have to take a bathroom break and asphyxiate the poultry just so I can stop staring at her and pay attention in class.

by Christobon August 8, 2014

Asphyxiate the Unicorn

Just another thing to call masturbation. I guess there are just never enough ways to say it.

Larry's daughter was upset when he said he wanted to asphyxiate the unicorn, as she loved unicorns. She was more upset when she realized what he meant, and he started doing it front of her while playing xbox.

by UrbanD1CKtionary February 21, 2011

asphyxiwanker

A Tottenham fan...because they like to choke at the vital point....

We knew who he supported he was a asphyxiwanker...

by Westhamdickie May 29, 2016

asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.

"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"

by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010