Wank-Fu

The ancient mystical art of turning any nerd, ginger tosspot, or simpering twat into a killing machine simply by watching Steven Seagal movies on repeat.

Hey, Gavin I just watched Under Siege five times and now I'm cooking up some painful payback on my asshole big brother, I'm gonna go full Wank-Fu on his ass.

Wank-Fu by MrAubergine March 19, 2014

Wank fuckup

When you're watching porn, however pre orgasim, your hand either changes or loses grip or the video changes to a shit part. After orgasim you regret that you did so as you feel you have wasted an opportunity.

I hate it when you Wank fuckup, it's so annoying!

Wank fuckup by i'mlikeheywhatsuphello November 18, 2015

Fat over-bese wank fuck 

The insult you use for a fat overweight man when you are so annoyed you muddle up your words but you really don’t care as it’s funny either way.

Oh George is such a Fat over-bese wank fuck! I meant over weight obese but it works and I don’t really care anymore AHAHAHAHAHHAA

Fat over-bese wank fuck by Man.Jam-o September 6, 2022

swine wank knob fucker

A swine wank knob fucker is someone who is always a douche. Even at their nicest they are extremely rude. Most commonly they have daddy issues and manage to Piss you off all the time

Jim at the party last night was a real swine wank knob fucker

swine wank knob fucker by SwineWankKnobFucker420 January 21, 2017

(wank spanners basatoradorial fuck custard)

an ultimate cunt who should be liquidised into thalidomide wank oil and festering decomposed spunk

((wank spanners basatoradorial fuck custard) a third dan black belt shit house and fuck custard who should be stir fried in hot synthetic Kentucky fried dog shit after being arse fucked by a bisexual octopus, while his balls are steamed cleaned in hot camels piss. a), a mark five cunt with power steering and overdrive.

(wank spanners basatoradorial fuck custard) by bucket crutch 2 April 20, 2022

Fury Wank 

A fury wank is when you furiously jerk-off to alleviate the symptoms of extreme blue balls quickly in the bathroom when you realize the girl you're with in the house won't blow you, done as quickly as possible to make her think its only a massive piss or a quick shit

"Shit man, the fury wank I had to do last night was mad!"

"Sorry babe, just gotta bust a fury.. I mean, take a piss!"

Fury Wank by Radioleg August 28, 2014

Fusion Wank

The ability to have a wank whilst simultaneously undertaking another task with your free hand, which is non wank related.

Mike, " Yo Steve, what did you get up to last night"?

Steve, "Not much, just a cheeky fusion wank, RedTube and a Scotch Egg".

Mike, "Good effort mate".

Fusion Wank by go_now_and_live October 28, 2011