State of the Unizzle Address
"My fellow Americans, wazzzzaaaaaa! You pimps and hos have been doin' a good job, fa sho. I wanna give a holla to my dog over in SoCal - and also wanna holla at my dogs in NYC. We keep that shit real ya heeeard me peeps!
My fellow American playas and hot mammas and baby daddies and homies, we are faced with a great threat today. This is some serious shit yall. I want yall to listen to me very very fuckin seriously carefully ok. I didn't go to the school of Hard Knocks Ivy on Dubs Law Academy for nuthin,
bitches. I know this shit is for real. I didn't grajjjawate with a .44 for nothin
bitches - I know my shit ya heard me dogs.
So here's the deal - we gotta bust a cap in Irans head OK. Those
bitches are gettin fuckin sick and straight-up evil ya know. So let's teach those
bitches a good nice lesson, ya heeaaard. I am making a proposition that we bust a cap up in their ass too.
Oh and they definitely got weapons of massive destruction - no doubt. No doubt my peeps. Just yesterday I saw on the news that they were making fire! Fire,
bitches! That's some seriously dangerous shit! That's chemical weaponry by the way, capable of mass murder and annihilation.
So we got that straight now and u all feel me, aight
bitches? OK, next on the agenda is the
school policy.
There is no doubtation to me that
school is very vital and very good for the whole nation. So remember kids - stay in
school, be cool, don't be a fool, don't be a
tool, don't play pool... ooh bitches I'm bout to start rappin fa'sho!
Hey all my bitches, here me out -
Stay in
school, fa'sho
keep it cool, ya know
stay in
school, be a pimp
Dress up cool, don't limp
Stay in
school, be smart
Don't fail class, do yo part
Stay in
school, fa'sho
keep it cool, ya know
Thanks my bitches and dogs. I think that you all are doin' a great job, I think you all are currently off the heezy, but we could try to up it to off the laweezy fa sheezy ya heard.
Oh yeah, I forgot dammit! TAXES -Oh shit! Ummm.. ey , first of all peeps - I love u all. I really do love you all my bitches and thugs. You all are great. But look, ummm... I can't lie to you - we need some more cash money, we need some more moolah.
So this is the plan aight - I'm gonna keep it simple. I'm going to start going on tour all over the United States continent and having concerts, and you all gotta come and pay 50 dollars per person to listen to me rap and do stand-up comedy. This will generate at least a couple bazillion more benjamins for us. Cuz really yall - I mean my Air Force One needs a major makeover. I mean, come on - I definitely need to get the 98" inch dubs on that baby. I need to be stuntin when I travel to places like Japanesy, and France and China, and Germanium.
You all get my flow right? Yall feel me right babies? aight, fa'sho
Oh, and God Bless
America by the way. Fa'sho. aight catch yall later - I got some biznass I gottsta do - I gotta do my hustling ya know... aight peeps, peace out!
