Skip to main content
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

Robert the Bruce 

Although he started his military career fighting for the English at the behest of his father, Robert would eventually become the first King of Scotland following the occupation of Edward I. King Robert I is most famous for his impressive victory at the Battle of Bannockburn (contrary to popular belief, nothing to do with burning his trousers or 'bannocks') in 1314.

The Scottish won Bannockburn quite decisively. Despite being outnumbered more than three to one by the better equipped English forces, the battle was won in under two days and with the Scottish forces taking minimal losses, counting only two knights among those killed. So crushed were the English by their defeat at Bannockburn that most of their forces were routed and fled in various directions, only to be killed by farmers or militia parties as they attempted to make for the border. In the end, of the 16,000 men fielded by the English roughly 11,000 were killed.

Robert the Bruce would go on to sign the Declaration of Arbroath, a letter that would be sent to the then Pope John XXII, that would seal Scotland's fate as an independent nation and was the inspiration for similar documents throughout history, including the American Declaration of Independance.

All in all, Robert the Bruce was a brilliant King, powerful warrior and all-round decent guy.That is, if you discount that whole 'fighting for the English' thing he had at the start. But, hey. Nobody's perfect!
Quite mis-portrayed in the feature film 'Braveheart' as a weasely coward, in reality Robert the Bruce was a formidable warrior and great leader of men. On the first day of Bannockburn he entered into a duel with an enemy lieutenant by the name of Henry de Bohun mounted on a small palfrey, wearing no armour and carrying only his favourite battleaxe, compared to de Bohun who was riding his warhorse, wearing full battle armour and wielding a lance. De Bohun charged at Bruce, who waited until the last second before gracefully manoeuvring the horse out of the way, standing up in his stirrups and swinging his axe at de Bohun's head with enough force to cleave his head and helmet clean in two and shatter the axe's handle. When asked later about the enormous risk the King had taken in such a bout, Bruce thought nothing of it save that he expressed remorse over breaking the handle of his favourite axe.

The Bruce Jenner 

While your partner is holding your penis you punch them in the face giving them an adrenaline rush causing them to squeeze your willy with super human strength resulting in extreme genital mutilation
if you're looking for new ways to spice up your sex life I don't recommend The Bruce Jenner

The Bruce Lee 

When your lover bends over, spreads their cheeks and yells "Enter the Dragon!" At which time, you do a flying dong thrust balls deep.
My wife was so horny from watching a kung-fu movie marathon that she demanded The Bruce Lee.

Since I broke my ankle, I haven't been able to give Brenda The Bruce Lee which she loves so much.
The Bruce Lee by RoyCoup November 15, 2012
An STD contracted from a woman.
This is a reference to the singer/songwriter Bruce Cockburn
I should never have played hide the sausage with that skank. She gave me the Bruce!
The Bruce by D. Money March 2, 2008

Robert The Bruce 

The first Australian King of Scotlandno seriously he was a bad ass mother, who eventually took his head from out his own ass,and inspired by William Wallace(an even badder mother)and an unnamed spider! decided to kick the shit out the EnglishFags! HOORAY!!(Huge Roar From All Over The World Except England)Secured Scotlands Independence at the battle of Bannockburn1314.Sadly many modern Scots forget this and like to keep voting for the Westminster based Labour Partyor LibDems and some even Defy Logic Still and like the Tories.So all in all King Robert's Heroic Efforts were Sadly in vain!
English Troops:Run Lads It's Robert The Bruce We are Doomed! Never mind chaps we will have those scotch twats in our pockets 700 years from now HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (Evil Grin)

''When will we see their likes again?''

Robert the Bruce 

Robert the Bruce was allowed to be King of Scotland after apologising to Mel Gibson for trying to kill him as a sort of witty joke. Encouraged by an encounter with a spider on the Isle of Arran, he burned his bannocks or "boxer shorts" in front of the English Army, and proceeded to slaughter them because of his ingenious rules of battle (whereby anyone who correctly guessed their enemy's nationality was allowed "free hits").

One day Robert the Bruce is coming back, and then certain people will be in big trouble. He will sort everything out. He will tell us what to do. He will buy us presents. He will let us bring in games instead of doing work, and he will give out mini Mars Bars for those who please him. He is not really dead, this is a vicious and unsubstantiated rumour propounded by the same scientists who claim that dinosaurs are extinct.

This is not a joke and is deadly serious. Also he will let us have a go on his horse.
Robert the Bruce... Also see giggles and John Robinson
Robert the Bruce by kodiac1 July 4, 2006
More from Urban Dictionary
Being ignored by someone when making a statement or asking a question. Also known as blanked and turfed.
Person 1: Did u watch ** last nite?
Person 2:......
Person 3: O no u got aired!
aired by Pietro February 9, 2005
Word of the Day on October 10, 2026

piddlefart

Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
Word of the Day on October 9, 2026
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
Load more