Sontraction

contractions felt when birthing a son

I felt major sontractions when I gave birth to little Jimmy!

Sontraction by socialmarauder October 5, 2011

Shit Contraction

Prior to taking a dump, you get horrible pains in your stomach. Those pains sometimes get so bad that you just want to lay on the ground and get into the fetal position.

Pregnant women get contractions and they must hurt a shit load and so do shit contractions.

Duder 1: Dude, hurry up in that bathroom, I have to take a dump!
Duder 2: Hold on, I'm only brushing my teeth.
Duder 1: I'm having shit contractions, please hurry up!

Shit Contraction by FoulMe January 4, 2012

Contractionitis 

The inability to use contractions, often making the person sound long winded due to the over emphasizing of mundane points.

Brad can not, will not, and does not use contractions due to a severe case of contractionitis.

Contractionitis by itsthatbradguy July 13, 2010

Addition by subtraction 

When one person in the group leaves and the group as a whole becomes better

Kyle- "Finally Jimmy left"
Leo- "Jimmy was so ugly and drunk. Now all the ladies will come to us"
Steve- "Yeah, it's definitely addition by subtraction"

Addition by subtraction by Skeet Master Steve June 21, 2009

shitraction 

Similar to a contraction but in lieu of a human baby, it is a shit baby. The moments before you deliver your shit the pressure becomes so great you hold it in and release pressure, then repeat for the next movement of pressure until the shit baby is born.

My shitractions were too close together and my shit baby was premature.

shitraction by Peta J April 2, 2015

Celebrity Contraction 

When the Mass Media and/or tabloids combine the names of linked celebrities to save precious column space. ie. Bennifer, Brangelina

Guy: Did you hear Demishton just got married?
Girl: What?
Guy: Demishton, you know Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Girl: Oh that is the Worst Celebrity Contraction ever.

Celebrity Contraction by Ben Faulding September 27, 2005

double contraction

A unique weapon of grammar combining words in a fashion similar to a contraction, but with three words and two apostrophes instead of two and one, respectively. Usually used by people who are too important to speak with any normal regard for english.

"I wouldn't've used a double contraction."
"I'd've told you about double contractions, but I would have had to kill you."

double contraction by A. Robert Dowson September 11, 2008