Shrekladdinism is the religion where you believe in Shrekladdin, Father Sanchez, Jacked Jesus, and Ghost Boy, This religion is the best to choose, The religion does not allow Jews, Furries, Raccoons, Adam Sandler, George Bush, and Balloons.
A cell phone company much like other cell phone companies; who's goal is to screw the customer out of money every month by providing a 'service' which seems reasonable when you sign the contract, but when the bill actually comes in it is much more than you were 'promised' by the sales weasel and you can't cancel your service thus incarcerating you into debt for the next two years until your contract expires.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.