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substitute

Also called "sub", the poor person, either fresh out of college or old and retired, who fills in for absent teachers. The sub can expect to be ridiculed and tortured by bitch-ass 7th graders who will do anything in their power not to finish an easy worksheet left them by their teacher. The sub is basically a $55/day babysitter.
Bitch-ass kid: Ah hell yeah we got a substitute today! We ain't doin shit! Hey Mister, uhh...Mister!(kid can't read last name on the board because he's an illiterate degenerate) Can I go to da bafroom?
substitute by Zach "Mr." Cress January 25, 2006
Urban Dictionary Merch

Substitute

Whether he gets a phone call from his girlfriend, or splinter in his finger, this social athlete calls full time far too early.
"Where is Ben tonight? It's only 10pm"...... "He's gone home to be a substitute. He'd rather be with the ball and chain".
Substitute by TheAthlete November 2, 2014

substitute person 

A person that is only desired or wanted at their significant other's conveinience.
From a quote by "Claire" in the film Elizabethtown

The significant other of the substitute person may not "have enough time" or "be too busy" for a relationship, or they may only be interested for the purpose of sex, money, status, or general need of someone to talk to during times of stress. The substitute person generally won't get the emotional fulfillment from the experience that he/she may crave, and will feel unimportant yet somehow will continue on out of hope.

This can only end in tears for the substitute person.

Substitute teacher 

Someone who does not know anything about teaching, yet still gets payed while the students don't learn anything that day
We had a substitute teacher today so we didn't do shit

substitute person 

1. A person who is the replacement for a significant other, relative, or friend that isn't around anymore.

2. Derived from a quote by Claire from Elizabethtown.
"You and I have a special talent," Claire says to Drew. "And I saw it immediately. We're the substitute people. I've been the substitute person my whole life. I'm not an Ellen a co-worker Drew was into. I never wanted to be an Ellen. And I'm not a Cindy either…I like being alone too much. I mean, I'm with a guy who is married to his academic career. I rarely see him and I'm the substitute person there. I like it that way. It's a lot less pressure."

"Since Anne just broke up with Joe, Emily is Joe's substitute person."
substitute person by XVIII December 9, 2008

Substitute teacher 

The most foolish kind of species of teachers are substitute teachers. THEY ARE FUCKING STUPID... LIKE REALLY FUCKING STUPID. They make you wet your pants.
Substitute teacher: So, what do you normally do in class?
Students: We eat pizza and watch Netflix all-day *quietly pissing their pants of laughter*
*AWKWARD SILENCE*
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Ok, then let's do that
Substitute teacher by ILL BE THERE November 19, 2019

Substitute Teacher 

Great to have cover your lessons at school in Years 7 to 9, but once you hit GCSE level in Year 10 to 11, it is a bit of a piss-take at how unqualified some teachers can be.
Example...

Year 7 : What? Miss isn't in?? SCORE!! We have a Substitute teacher!!!

Year 11 : What? Miss isn't in? Great, I'm gonna fail my exams now we have a Substitute teacher!
Substitute Teacher by HappyGirl1993 October 25, 2010
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A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
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Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007
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murderhobo 

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Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021
Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
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Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
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