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Mark Paston 

The true God of New Zealand, Mark made the save which took New Zealand to the World Cup Finals
Troy Lochhead, "I'll just kick this guy in the leg LOLZ!!!!"

Bahraini, "I'll just fall over because I'm a fucking cheat"

Ref, "PENALTY ME THINKS!!!!"

Largest crowd in NZ's History of Football, "Fucking NZs gonna choke like every other sport... oh well... keep faith boys... CHIN UP!"

Meanwhile... Bahraini players are running around the ground celebrating like they've already qualified.

Bahraini Number 16, "OMGs This is going to be sooooz easy... a certain goal thats why I was celebrating five seconds ago11"

Mark Paston, -silence-

Bahraini Number 16, "Bottom right me thinks"

Commentator, "PASTON SAVES IT!"

Largest crowd in NZ's History of Football, "YAEAYAYYAASAGDHASDHGASHDGJAGHDKHGASJDHSJAHDJHASDJHAKSDHJASGHDHGASHDGJSAGDHAGSDHGASDJASBDJNASDNASDNJASHDJHASDNKASGDHABSDNABHBVBADVBHDSBVJSDVJKSDBVNLSDJV" xinfinite

Upon returning to Bahrain #16 was thrown into an oil well.
Mark Paston by Michael from YF Lol November 18, 2009
Related Words

paytonsexual

Im paytonsexual
Wym
I like Payton moormeier
paytonsexual by moormeier's wife January 1, 2021

Pastor McMurtry 

Tommy McMurtry (Who may or may not be associated with Pumpkins, Pumpkin Bread or Pumpkin Eater - who ALSO may or may not enjoy being Pumpkin MilkShaked, and who has been rumored to be Pumpkin Positive) is a pastor for Liberty Baptist Church, a traditional Baptist Church located in Rock Falls, Illinois; which holds deeply homophobic and bigoted ideals. Whether or not Tommy McMurtry IS sexually attracted to pumpkins is unknown, but it is highly speculated.
Jim - “Pastor Tommy McMurtry? I heard that guy is sexually attracted to pumpkins.”
Basir - “I’ve heard that too, but we just don’t know.”

Jackie - “Pastor McMurtry? Never heard of him.”
Damien - “That’s the pastor of Liberty Baptist Church. It’s never been confirmed, but I heard from a friend that he has a kink for pumpkins. I don’t normally kinkshame, but he advocates for violence and capital punishment against GSRM (LGBT) people, so I think in this case it’s excusable.

General Patton

General Patton's statement on 8 August 1945:
“The difficulty in understanding the Russian is that we do not take cognizance of the fact that he is not a European, but an Asiatic, and therefore thinks deviously. We can no more understand a Russian than a Chinaman or a Japanese, and from what I have seen of them, I have no particular desire to understand them, except to ascertain how much lead or iron it takes to kill them. In addition to his other Asiatic characteristics, the Russian have no regard for human life and is an all out son of bitch, barbarian, and chronic drunk."

He knew what was coming at:
“I understand the situation. Their the Soviet supply system is inadequate to maintain them in a serious action such as I could put to them. They have chickens in the coop and cattle on the hoof--that's their supply system. They could probably maintain themselves in the type of fighting I could give them for five days. After that it would make no difference how many million men they have, and if you wanted Moscow I could give it to you. They lived on the land coming down. There is insufficient left for them to maintain themselves going back. Let's not give them time to build up their supplies. If we do, then . . . we have had a victory over the Germans and disarmed them, but we have failed in the liberation of Europe; we have lost the war!"

How right the outspoken General was..
General Patton Knew the Russian could not be trusted.

payton moormeier

An amazing boy! He’s very sweet and nice, cares a lot about his fans and family! He’s someone you would like to be friends with and want to meet in person.
Payton Moormeier
payton moormeier by Ausha April 17, 2019

patton sanders 

Patton Sanders is the smallest bean you will EVER see. He is known to make a LOT of dad jokes
"I'm just so happy you made A DAD JOKE!"
"you're acting like Patton Sanders"