The practice of mixing odd flavors in the mouth simultaneously. Some examples of multitasting include eating a piece of citrus fruit too
soon after brushing
one'
s teeth, taking a hit off a beer while also chewing gum, or sucking on a breath mint while eating a wasabi-laden sushi roll.
While it is most often a manifestation of absent-mindedness, multitasting has also been deliberately practiced by
people who 'just
don't give a fuck.' These brave intentional multitasters have inspired humanity for generations innumerable. Kneel before Zod!
Did you see that chick? She just
popped a piece of
gum in her mouth, chewed it like three times, and then downed half a diet soda. And now...I think...yes!...she'
s back to chewing the
gum! What is this fucktardation?
That'
s called multitasting, and it is rather odd. But did you know that both the chewing gum and the soda contain a chemical poison called aspartame, which should never have been approved by the
FDA?
No, do tell!
Well, it just so happens that Aspartame was passed despite
FDA scientists' disapproval by none other than douche nozzle extraordinaire, Donald Rumsfeld.
According to a G.D. Searle'
s salesperson,
Patty WoodAllott, Donald Rumsfeld stated "he would call in all his markers and that no matter what, he would see to it that aspartame be approved this year."
An interview with consumer attorney
Jim Turner revealed how Donald Rumsfeld "called in his markers" as part of Reagan'
s transition team in 1981. This is why G.D. Searle felt compelled to reapply for aspartame'
s approval one day after Reagan'
s inauguration.
This is despite rejection of aspartame over brain tumors.
What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? I wish asshats Rumsfeld and that stupid band 311 would all go die in a fire.
