jailblazer

the destruction of self and team through your own careless, stupid, and often illegal activities. In other words, squandering the sum of the parts. Nickname given to the NBA's Portland Trailblazers for obvious reasons.

Fan 1: "I can't believe the Blazers lost again."
Fan 2: "Hard to win when half your team is facing drug charges and the other half just doesn't give a crap."
Fan 1: "well, I suppose they don't call them the jailblzers for nothin'"

Student 1: "dude, got some weed in my locker - let's go"
Student 2: "hey jailblazer, we got our team presentation in 2 hours!"

Monica: "do you need some intern services?"
Bill: "I'm so glad you asked, that way I won't get accused of forcing myself on you, like Paula, Kathleen, and Juanita."
Monica: "why, you little jailblazer..."

by workinglate March 02, 2006

swing voter

People who have neither partisan nor ideological conviction at any detectible level. Most often found in the suburbs, these voters are often swayed by emotional appeals rather than philosophical, moral, or logical arguments. As such, these voters are emotionally torn pulled the two parties – they want to vote Republican as they live what they believe to be the capitalist dream of a comfortable, two-income, and sterile life in the ‘burbs (with the perception of being inoculated from those sticky urban social issues), at the same time they want to vote Democrat to assuage their guilt of their own mindless and unconscious lifestyle (such as talking racial tolerance but living in a racially homogeneous community, expressing horror at things like outsourcing jobs while drawing a paycheck from a company that does it every day, driving gas-guzzling SUVs while claiming their concern for the environment, and outwardly claiming support for their neighborhood public school systems while sending their own kids to private school). Often claiming to be independent, they criticize partisans on both sides for being closed-minded while believing there is nobility in their own indecision.

More and more people are swing voters and we wonder why no one votes (hint: if you don’t have the stones to decide where you stand, then either candidate, or even a non-vote, will do)

by workinglate May 05, 2005

remail

Attempting to follow up on previous email messages which have gone unanswered.

employee: "Jim isn't responding to my email requests to shut down the Hope Creek nuclear power plant before the East shore of New Jersey is a radioactive wasteland."
boss: "Well, remail him. Maybe he's just busy."

by workinglate April 14, 2005

large and in charge

Obnoxious, overweight, and loud women, most frequently heard screaming at their small children over trivialities in public places (the grocery store, fast food restaurants, school events, etc.).

3 year old: “mom… look… dog snack”
Large and in charge: “KEEP YOUR HAND IN THE *^# SHOPPING CART BEFORE I KNOCK YOU INTO THE %&@ MEAT SECTION YOU LITTLE ^*(@!!!!

by workinglate April 01, 2005

one putt

Task that is expected to be relatively easy but, if not done properly, can turn into an embarrassing nightmare.

CBS executives: “Here Dan – here’s the latest on the Bush Air National Guard story. The docs show Bush’s superiors thought he was a schmuck, too. This is a one putt story if I’ve ever seen one – run it tonight at 6.”

by workinglate April 14, 2005

stones

refers to the degree to which someone will stand up for them self or what one is responsible for, or, the degree to which one will go to get the job done. At work, having stones can be career-limiting if the company you work for values yes men instead of people that can actually get something done right. On film or TV, action heroes typically have major stones. However, you can have stones but no brains, which can lead to disastrous consequences if your timing sucks.

Employee (with stones) to Boss (without stones): "Dude, grow some stones and push back on these stupid requests - they are just wasting my time! I can't get this code written in time, you idiot!"
Boss to Employee: "You're FIRED! But, uh, no, uh, wait, that might get me in trouble because you're the only one who knows how to do this job. Uh, what should I do?

Jack Bauer on Fox's 24 has some major stones to stop terrorist attacks pretty much all by himself. In real life, it takes all 170,000 employees of the Department of Homeland Security to thwart these attacks.

Husband to Wife at a mixer: "Go get me another Bud. Oh, and you need to pick up the pace on those back rubs – I could use one right now, woman, my lower back is killing me."
Wife: Stunned
Wife’s friend to Wife: “Your husband is a jerk. Sounds like it’s time for some more Exlax brownies for his lunch.”
Wife: “You got that right - he still thinks the last batch really was a mint chocolate brownie mix.”

by workinglate February 27, 2006

orientated

The illiterate way to say "oriented." While technically a word, you sound like a moron when you say it.

Annoying used car huckster in Phoenix, heard recently on the radio: "We're customer orientated..."

by workinglate February 07, 2006