Lârry Dângüs, esq.'s definitions
a heavy handwoven reversible textile used for hangings, curtains, and upholstery and characterized by complicated pictorial designs, and covered in dried semen. A fapestry is usually the result of someone fapping onto the same tapestry over a long period of time until it becomes rigid enough to throw like a big square frisbee.
"I wouldn't lean up against the thing on my wall, there bro - it's got my baby batter all over it."
"What the fuck? Why didn't you warn me this thing was a fapestry before I put my hand on it?!?"
"What the fuck? Why didn't you warn me this thing was a fapestry before I put my hand on it?!?"
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 10, 2011
Get the fapestrymug. Activities which are routinely associated with the sale and use of crack cocaine. Cracktivities are normally characterized by the desperate style with which they are executed. Cracktivities often include (but are not limited to) such things as:
1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.
2. the typical smash and grab.
3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.
4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.
5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).
6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.
1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.
2. the typical smash and grab.
3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.
4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.
5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).
6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.
When passing through the city of Memphis, it is highly advisable to keep one's car windows rolled up and avoid stopping if at all possible. This will minimize the likelihood of your becoming entangled with the inevitably omnipresent cracktivities.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 4, 2008
Get the cracktivitiesmug. The state of being a dicktard, which is a half retard/half dick. Dicktardation most commonly occurs among the species known as homo sapiens. See also: fucktardation.
How is it possible for these insane arguments for drug prohibition to continue in our supposedly advanced culture? Isn't it time to recognize that the so-called 'war on drugs' cannot be 'won', and merely persists because of its enormously consistent profitability? History has shown us that the only way to reduce the potential for harm in prohibited drugs is to legalize, educate and regulate.
Unfortunately, due to massive dicktardation on the part of the politicians, judges and police who create and enforce these puritanical prohibition laws, rampant gang violence and the senseless incarceration of non-violent 'offenders' will continue on endlessly.
Unfortunately, due to massive dicktardation on the part of the politicians, judges and police who create and enforce these puritanical prohibition laws, rampant gang violence and the senseless incarceration of non-violent 'offenders' will continue on endlessly.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 12, 2010
Get the dicktardationmug. My mom can't make it to church today because they're showing a marathon of B.J. and the Bear reruns on tv. She's gonna be inside jackin' the box to Greg Evigan and his stupid monkey until she runs outta twat juice.
That crazy bitch needs to take herself some Xanaps. Have you ever heard of such fucktardation in your life? Oh excuse me...I just performed a manual release. Better hold yer breath, just in case this one is an anal apparition.
That crazy bitch needs to take herself some Xanaps. Have you ever heard of such fucktardation in your life? Oh excuse me...I just performed a manual release. Better hold yer breath, just in case this one is an anal apparition.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 27, 2009
Get the jackin' the boxmug. Xanaps
The brief but heavy periods of sleep which commonly accompany the use of the benzodiazepine alprazolam, a.k.a. Xanax.
If you don't get much sleep at night and decide to take a little Xanax the next day to 'relax', you can expect to be taking a Xanap very shortly afterwards.
Often employed by white hats of low moral fortitude to get into the pants of unsuspecting young women. These men, incidentally, should be killed with anthrax for their utter fucktardation.
The brief but heavy periods of sleep which commonly accompany the use of the benzodiazepine alprazolam, a.k.a. Xanax.
If you don't get much sleep at night and decide to take a little Xanax the next day to 'relax', you can expect to be taking a Xanap very shortly afterwards.
Often employed by white hats of low moral fortitude to get into the pants of unsuspecting young women. These men, incidentally, should be killed with anthrax for their utter fucktardation.
Frat Boy A: Dude, what happened to those chicks we brought home from the bar?
Frat Boy B: They're still in the car taking Xanaps, you sneaky serial date rapist, you!
(high five, followed by unrequited homosexual thoughts)
Frat Boy B: They're still in the car taking Xanaps, you sneaky serial date rapist, you!
(high five, followed by unrequited homosexual thoughts)
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 29, 2009
Get the Xanapsmug. Sharing a bathroom with male roommates can be tricky at times. The key to proper lavatory planning often entails getting in your morning shower before someone else decides to raise a stink.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 20, 2010
Get the raise a stinkmug. Any car with an alarm which is consistently activated by the slightest movement or vibration. Every low-income neighborhood has at least a few ghetto wind chimes present at all times. Frequently parked near sketch pads.
There are way too many ghetto wind chimes around here...they start sounding off every time a bird takes a shit on someone's windshield.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 28, 2008
Get the ghetto wind chimemug.