49 definition by Lârry Dângüs, esq.

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Any car with an alarm which is consistently activated by the slightest movement or vibration. Every low-income neighborhood has at least a few ghetto wind chimes present at all times. Frequently parked near sketch pads.
There are way too many ghetto wind chimes around here...they start sounding off every time a bird takes a shit on someone's windshield.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. September 15, 2008

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Activities which are routinely associated with the sale and use of crack cocaine. Cracktivities are normally characterized by the desperate style with which they are executed. Cracktivities often include (but are not limited to) such things as:

1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.

2. the typical smash and grab.

3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.

4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.

5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).

6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.

When passing through the city of Memphis, it is highly advisable to keep one's car windows rolled up and avoid stopping if at all possible. This will minimize the likelihood of your becoming entangled with the inevitably omnipresent cracktivities.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. September 21, 2008

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Code word for cocaine.
Person A: I hate my new job with a passion. These drug tests are fucking intrusive and I can't smoke the herb anymore.


Person B: Well, at least you can still do some david lee roth on the weekends...that shit will be outta your system by Monday.

Person A: Fuck you, I hate cocaine.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 26, 2009

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A farting technique in which the flatulent person grabs one butt cheek and pulls the ass apart so that gas is expelled soundlessly, or almost soundlessly.

The manual release is sometimes accompanied by a subtly airy 'whooshing' or 'hissing' sound. Most dog farts make a similarly subtle sound, largely due to canines' utter lack of butt cheeks.

According to urban legend, this is also the same sound made by the fudge jar when a fart comes out. For example, one would expect the goatse man's flatulence to behave in this manner.
The most polite way to fart in public is the manual release.

...that is, unless someone sees you while you're gripping your butt cheek...then you may have to do some 'splaining.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 07, 2009

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The nekkade is a decade performed in the nude. This is a freestyle bike trick invented by hecKtor Dangus during the summer of 2009.

For video documentation, Google search the word 'nekkade'.

Do it for the lulz.
Cops to Dangus : "That nekkade was truly incredible, but we're going to have to ask you to put some pants on, sir."

Dangus to cops : "I bet you guys listen to 311".
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. November 24, 2009

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Xanaps

The brief but heavy periods of sleep which commonly accompany the use of the benzodiazepine alprazolam, a.k.a. Xanax.

If you don't get much sleep at night and decide to take a little Xanax the next day to 'relax', you can expect to be taking a Xanap very shortly afterwards.

Often employed by white hats of low moral fortitude to get into the pants of unsuspecting young women. These men, incidentally, should be killed with anthrax for their utter fucktardation.

Frat Boy A: Dude, what happened to those chicks we brought home from the bar?


Frat Boy B: They're still in the car taking Xanaps, you sneaky serial date rapist, you!


(high five, followed by unrequited homosexual thoughts)
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 29, 2009

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Code word for Xanax.
Dude, stop calling my celly asking me for Xanax! Don't you know the fucking pigs are tapping my phone? Next time, just say you need to hang out with anna nicole smith, ya doofus. Save that overly obvious telephone terminology for when you're calling a sketch pad.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 22, 2009

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