Muffinfucker 

Lit. someone who performs sexual acts on baked goods. Used to describe somebody with an obsession with baking they wont stop talking about. Also an alternative, mother-friendly term usable in place of "motherfucker" for most purposes.

No, I don't want to hear about your latest loaf of sourdough you absolute muffinfucker.

Muffinfucker by Smoogles March 14, 2021

muffin fucker 

One who wakes up early on saturday morning for the sole purpose of furiously eating (fucking) all of the oven fresh muffins before anyone else can. They also enjoy fucking carrot cake and banana bread.

Bill (to Steve): That J.V. is a muffin fucker extraordinaire.

Steve: It's 5:30AM, better get down stairs before all of those muffins get fucked.

muffin fucker by shiteater9000 April 14, 2010

Muffinfucking 

The act of a male jamming any type or sized muffin into a female's vagina, then pounding it in with his penis.

"I enjoy muffinfucking the shit out of the waitress," said the pastry chef.

Muffinfucking by BFCxSTANKYYLEGG November 29, 2011

Muffin Fucker 

muffin fucker (v): someone you offers to do something solid but ends up pussin out and being an overall bitch by not closing the deal

Teddy is a muffin fucker because he volunteered to DD us out to the lake but then decided to sleep there instead of driving home like a muffin fucking whore. he will also probably be a muffin fucker and eat all the muffins in the morning too

Muffin Fucker by Okonkwo12 May 9, 2011

Muffin Fucker 

muffin fucker (v): someone you offers to do something solid but ends up pussin out and being an overall bitch by not closing the deal

T-Co is a muffin fucker because he is going to DD us out to the lake but sleep there like a muffin fucking whore. he will also probably be a muffin fucker and eat all the muffins in the morning too.

Muffin Fucker by Okonkwo11 May 9, 2011

Muffin Fucker 

Someone who says they have done things, usually sexual things, that they have never actually don

Dude I talked to some people, turns out John never got head from her, he's such a Muffin Fucker

Muffin Fucker by No Mc January 17, 2008