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Michigan Mud Mitten 

A Michgan Mud Mitten is something I find useful when I have the shits and no amount of normal wiping will get my ass clean. I bandage my hand up with theCharmin and use my whole hand to effectively wipe away any offending remains of my shit.
Tom shat such a creamy mess,he needed to make a Michigan Mud Mitten to clean it up completly.

Mud Mittens 

Used and executed as a threat meaning to duct tape a person's hands inside two excrement-filled plastic bags while they sleep.
Claire! I swear you'll wake up with mud mittens if you don't stop talking loudly on the phone while I try to work.
Mud Mittens by Gabounski January 27, 2005

Michigan Mud Mitt 

A wiping technique. Wrapping toilet paper around one's hand so that one can fully clean one's "area" without getting "matter" on one's hand.
Dave and Maggie went out for Mexican. Dave had a salad, so he was OK, but Maggie had such a bad reaction to her chimichangas, she was on the john all night and had to use a Michigan Mud Mitt to properly clean herself.
Michigan Mud Mitt by Diana March 9, 2005

Make a mud pit in my pud mitt 

When you take a shit in your hand and jack off with the wet turd..
Got so Randy last night watching the debate that I had to make a mud pit in my pud mitt..
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026