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Comedic Masturbation 

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When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.
My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.

Bureaucratic Masturbation 

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noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.
My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

Masturbation guilt 

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The sense of guilt you feel post-masturbation when you realized what you have just jerked yourself off to.
"Oh God, what have I done? I did not just masturbate to bestiality.. talk about masturbation guilt.
Masturbation guilt by GunaDK January 19, 2012

Public Masturbation 

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The reason I am no longer allowed on public transportation.
I definitely should not have participated in Public masturbation on that subway.

Masturbation Marathon 

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An exceptionally long episode of masturbation fits. These episodes are usually brought on by sexual deprivation and bordom; however, and I'm not making this up, they have been used a means of fundraising for sexual related causes such as safe sex. A masturbation marathon is a strenuous event that requires disciplined training and preparation. There are several related subcatagories such as time, ejaculation distance, and most orgasms for both male and female competitors (I'm totally serious - google it).
Hillary's return brought an end to Bill's 72 hour masturbation marathon.

Social Media Masturbation 

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"Liking" your own post on Facebook or retweeting your own tweet on Twitter
"I look so awesome today" - Liking this comment with a thumbs up beneath it on Facebook or retweeting comment on Twitter is Social Media Masturbation.
More from Urban Dictionary

Overstand 

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To understand a topic or statement to the highest extent.
Leroy, after being told the tenth time by his sister, did overstand her idea of robbing the 7-11.
Overstand by Elf Eater March 23, 2003
Word of the Day on August 20, 2026

minimap 

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A map that mostly tells you where everything is
Friend 1: Follow me there is a player nearby
Friend 2: How do you know?
Friend 1: Minimap
minimap by LeWord January 13, 2015
Word of the Day on August 19, 2026

Pink Cloud

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12 step recovery jargon referring to someone new who talks about how great life is, now that they're sober. Usually meaning that the person is out of touch with reality.
The new guy seems pretty happy for a dude who has no job, no money and no family. He must be on a pink cloud.
Pink Cloud by toniwithaneye November 24, 2006
Word of the Day on August 18, 2026

Dotard 

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An aging individual who has long lost the ability to make rational sense.
That dotard is going to get us all blown up, if he doesn't calm down .
Dotard by anonymous September 22, 2017
Word of the Day on August 17, 2026

Chancla

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The deadliest weapon known to a Latin kid; a flying slipper/ flip-flop.
My mom hit me with a chancla.
Chancla by TardisBae October 31, 2014
Word of the Day on August 16, 2026

Striver 

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The striver is an interesting phenomenon that is seen across college campuses. In essence, the striver is an over-achiever who comes from a working or middle class family. He may be an immigrant. He may have been a slacker in HS who was "born again" into an academic wunderkind. Or he may just be an over-achiever who is keeping at it.

The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.

The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
Anthony was a striver. He transfered from a TTT to an IVY and graduated in 2 years. He studied his ass off and went to Penn Law. He got a Biglaw offer. But lost it all because of an unmoderated mesasgeboard.

Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh
Striver by URM Striver January 3, 2009
Word of the Day on August 15, 2026
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