Jehovah's Witless 

A derogatory nickname for a Jehovah's Witness, refering to the apparent witless, clueless and lamebrain beliefs (as percieved by normal persons) of the church dogma and its members.

Do you Jehovah's Witlesses always dress like dorks or are these just your Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes?

Jehovah's Witless by GBofWI March 18, 2007

Jehovah's Witnesses 

Students of the Bible who preach the "Kingdom of God." They claim that their God--Jehovah--is using Jesus Christ to bring an end to the world as we know it.

One of Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door, shared a scripture, and offered me a Watchtower magazine.

Jehovah's Witnesses by Mack C January 16, 2007

Jehovah's Witness 

A group of people who's faces are flat from getting doors slammed in their faces.

Jehovah's Witness: Ouch, my face feels like Kansas.

Jehovah's Witness by slatte November 13, 2006

Jehovah's Witnesses 

Jehovah's Witnesses are Christians who believe that the Bible is God's word and that Jesus is their Savior. This Christian denomination dates back to the late 19th century. Charles Taze Russel is credited with organizing the first Bible study groups that later gave origin to the Jehovah's Witness sect; these groups focused on Bible prophecy and the second coming of Christ. This second coming is said to have happened invisibly in 1914 - a date that was originally thought to mark the end of the world or Armageddon. Their name comes from the Bible, the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 43, Verses 10 and 11. The meaning behind the name is rather clear. It indicates that they bear witness to Jehovah - Jehovah being the personal name of God. There are about 16.6 million Jehovah's Witnesses around the world, with only three countries (US, Brazil, and Mexico) holding a population of over half a million. Of that number, approximately 6.7 million Jehovah's Witnesses are involved in active preaching and are part of the official statistic count. They believe in a supreme God - a spirit which has a body, but not a human body. Jesus is the Lord and Savior but He is not a part of God. They do not believe in the Trinity - the father, son and holy spirit - as, for example, Catholics do. Rather, Jesus is separate from God and was God's servant on Earth. Jesus is also said to have been given an exalted status in heaven to a higher level than angels.

Because they believe Jesus is not God, that prayer is a form of worship, and that one must not worship false gods, they pray to God, not Jesus. They believe that after the end of the world, which is imminent, 144,000 people will get a chance to go to heaven. The rest will have a chance to be resurrected and live on a permanent paradise on Earth, as long as they are virtuous in life. Those judged unrighteous will cease to exist. Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in a remaining soul after death. They believe all other religions to be false and are deeply involved in preaching as a way to impart the hope of resurrection to humanity. Politics is not an important part of life, as they believe governments will also be destroyed imminently. They rarely vote, and they do not take part in anything that has to do with national politics, including the singing of the national anthem or saluting the flag. They also do not celebrate birthdays or Christmas, and most avoid Thanksgiving, which they consider to be a Pagan holiday. Weddings and funerals are observed, and celebrating anniversaries is not forbidden. They tend to be conservative. Homosexuality, premarital sex, and abortion are considered sins. They do not accept blood transfusions, even if it means death. However, more and more hospitals are now using bloodless techniques in surgery, often crediting Jehovah's Witnesses as their push to research alternatives.

Jehovah's Witnesses by ♫ Highway to Hell ♫ September 13, 2010

Jehovah's Witness Apostate 

A loving and caring human being worthy of love. Jehovah's Witnesses are taught to shun anyone who leaves the organization or questions the Watchtower's beliefs and doctrines. Jehovah's Witness Apostates are intelligent, talented contributing members of society who are kind to small children and small animals.

Jehovah's Witness Apostate: "Excuse me Ma'am, you dropped your wallet"
Little Old Lady: "Oh thank you dear"

Jehovah's Witness Apostate by Beth Shan2 August 26, 2013

Jehovah's Witnesses—Who Are They? 

Goto Watchtower.org, JW-Media.org and JW.org to learn more.

Jehovah's Witnesses—Who Are They? They are very misunderstood...They were suffering with the Jews in the Holocaust, but yet they still strive to gain God's approval and love. They do as they are scriptually instructed in showing love towards all and preaching the "Good News" of God's Kingdom.

Jehovah's Witnesses—Who Are They? by DCLBoogie March 19, 2010

one of Jehovah's Witnesses 

The grammatically correct singular form of Jehovah's Witnesses.

He is one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

one of Jehovah's Witnesses by Downstrike May 18, 2004