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My Hen Laid A Haddock 

An English phonetic version of "Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau", the national anthem of Wales, written by Swansea poet Nigel Jenkins.
My hen laid a haddock, one hand oiled a flea,
Glad farts and centurions threw dogs in the sea,
I could stew a hare here and brandish Dan's flan,
Don's ruddy bog's blocked up with sand.

(Cytgan - Chorus)

Dad! Dad! Why don't you oil Auntie Glad?
Can whores appear in beer bottle pies,
O butter the hens as they fly!

Captain Haddock 

A fictional Belgian comic book character. He is one of the main protagonists in the Tintin series. A sailor by trade, he becomes Tintin's closest friend. He has a short temper and love of alcohol. He is well known for his creative curses.
Captain Haddock discovered his famous ancestor's fortune in Red Rackham's Treasure.
Captain Haddock by Azvee January 6, 2012
I think it might be a haddock at Court today!

haddock pasty

A noxious smelling quim. *not* good enough to eat. If a known slut, probably due to an earlier deposit having been made.
I went muff-diving on katie the other night...but as soon as she opened her legs it was clear she had a haddock pasty under there!
haddock pasty by KP September 17, 2003

smashing the haddock

masterbating furiously
jimmy was smashing the haddock like it was going out of style
smashing the haddock by maffe24 September 9, 2011

Haddock Slammer 

an implement, usually a cock, used to frequent a vaginal passage bashfully.
bill oiled his haddock slammer in preperation of a good ol' fanny battering
Haddock Slammer by richaroo May 12, 2003