Handpump

Alternative way of saying jerk or wanker that is unlikely to contravene NSFW rules.

Do you remember when we worked for Charlie? That bloke was a total handpump.

Handpump by ultegra August 1, 2019

class-one handpump 

A complete wanker or dickhead. Wank = handpump, class-one = the biggest

"he thought he was really cool, but everyone else thought he was a class-one handpump"

class-one handpump by sean camshaft September 18, 2013

Portuguese hand pump 

masturbating (male only)

I'm off for a portuguese hand pump

Portuguese hand pump by molemagic August 4, 2009

hand-pump 

when somebody who doesn't have a girl friend or a loner shakes his special organ with his hand

Ever since Chris's girl friend broke up with him, he is relying on hand-pump.

Matt was doing hand-pumping whole night, he looks so pale.

Hand-Pump is the best way to satisfy yourself without spending a single quid and No-tensions as well.

hand-pump by Anks00 May 22, 2011

hand pump 

background - dan brown
an insult presumably meaning 'wanker' or 'laurajean'

''can i have a bong dan'', ''fuck off you hand pump''

hand pump by jonny p January 28, 2005

On the hand pump 

The act of frantically pleasuring oneself whilst alone.

Oh my lord! I walked in Andrews bedroom yesterday and I caught him on the hand pump. Whilst watching the free 10 minutes on television X

The dirty little swine he needs to meet a woman.

On the hand pump by [e-mail] December 29, 2016

hand pump 

Jerking off, in quick motions.

Hey Delilah, have you seen Tim?
Ya, he's just in the car giving himself a quick hand pump.

hand pump by pratti12345 November 16, 2010