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Functional Stoner 

A person who gets stoned with a certain amount of bud but however, he or she is still at their full capacity to do certain tasks without an issue. A functional stoner can go to work or a public place and act completely normal as if they're not stoned.
John: You seen the video where Bob Marley smokes a lot of bud and then get back in the studio?
David: Yea damn how was he able to pull that off?
John: Dude, he is a functional stoner that's why
Functional Stoner by RaphDaGwapMan August 18, 2013

functional idiot

A person who isn't real bright, but is capable, and sometimes very good, at enough things in life to succeed.
Tim is a functional idiot. He may be a little slow, but he's a great mechanic, and is well liked around the shop.
functional idiot by someguy1985 November 7, 2015

Functionally Nude 

Functionally nude subjects are those who are wearing a decent amount of clothing, but their main sexual regions (i.e. the breasts and pussy, and occasionally ass) are left exposed.

The nudity is functional because they are only nude enough to function in during sex
Daryl: You seemed to be ploughing Jessica behind the counter at the bar last night but she was wearing clothes?
Jake: Oh, yeah, She was only Functionally Nude
Functionally Nude by Gzoom August 31, 2017

Functional Stoner 

A person who smokes pot all day everyday but is still badass enough to get all their shit done.
I just did all my homework, I'm definitely a functional stoner.
Functional Stoner by So Bomb. February 19, 2010

functionally-retarded

Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.
Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.

People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.

Functional alcoholic 

Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.
Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".

Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
More from Urban Dictionary

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

Surf Dracula Syndrome 

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026
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