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Functional Stoner 

A person who gets stoned with a certain amount of bud but however, he or she is still at their full capacity to do certain tasks without an issue. A functional stoner can go to work or a public place and act completely normal as if they're not stoned.
John: You seen the video where Bob Marley smokes a lot of bud and then get back in the studio?
David: Yea damn how was he able to pull that off?
John: Dude, he is a functional stoner that's why
Functional Stoner by RaphDaGwapMan August 18, 2013

functional idiot

A person who isn't real bright, but is capable, and sometimes very good, at enough things in life to succeed.
Tim is a functional idiot. He may be a little slow, but he's a great mechanic, and is well liked around the shop.
functional idiot by someguy1985 November 7, 2015

Functionally Nude 

Functionally nude subjects are those who are wearing a decent amount of clothing, but their main sexual regions (i.e. the breasts and pussy, and occasionally ass) are left exposed.

The nudity is functional because they are only nude enough to function in during sex
Daryl: You seemed to be ploughing Jessica behind the counter at the bar last night but she was wearing clothes?
Jake: Oh, yeah, She was only Functionally Nude
Functionally Nude by Gzoom August 31, 2017

Functional Stoner 

A person who smokes pot all day everyday but is still badass enough to get all their shit done.
I just did all my homework, I'm definitely a functional stoner.
Functional Stoner by So Bomb. February 19, 2010

functionally-retarded

Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.
Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.

People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.

Functional alcoholic 

Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.
Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".

Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.
More from Urban Dictionary

piddlefart

verb. To waste time doing nothing.
Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
Word of the Day on October 9, 2026
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
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