Fartograhpy
Fartograhpy by jamesbrown April 22, 2003
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fartography
the study of the interrelations between fart and place.
by analogy: as "terroir" is to wine, so is fartography to flatulence.
the most skilled fartographers are able to identify with uncommon specificity not only the ethnic background of the individual who authored a particular fart, but also the kind of food that person ate, whether or not his or her ancestors grew up near a farm or at high altitude, and whether he or she is lactose intolerant.
fartography is a fascinating discipline whose implications are only now becoming clear.
among pioneering practitioners, Johnald G. Stinkefeller is notable for his contributions to the field.
by analogy: as "terroir" is to wine, so is fartography to flatulence.
the most skilled fartographers are able to identify with uncommon specificity not only the ethnic background of the individual who authored a particular fart, but also the kind of food that person ate, whether or not his or her ancestors grew up near a farm or at high altitude, and whether he or she is lactose intolerant.
fartography is a fascinating discipline whose implications are only now becoming clear.
among pioneering practitioners, Johnald G. Stinkefeller is notable for his contributions to the field.
civilian: jesus! what the hell is that smell?
fartographer: indeed, indeed. that most certainly is an emission from a person of subcontinental origin.
civilian: goodness gracious! well, i daresay...
fartographer: moreover, said person seems to have a particularly hearty meal of boeuf bourguignonne. the sulfuric notes suggest a person with a severe allergy to gluten, as well as a miniaturized anal aperture which undoubtedly contributes to the floral top note. i would suggest that the person in question is...
civilian: damn you, stinkefeller!
fartographer: you. you farted. and that's how fartography works, son.
fartographer: indeed, indeed. that most certainly is an emission from a person of subcontinental origin.
civilian: goodness gracious! well, i daresay...
fartographer: moreover, said person seems to have a particularly hearty meal of boeuf bourguignonne. the sulfuric notes suggest a person with a severe allergy to gluten, as well as a miniaturized anal aperture which undoubtedly contributes to the floral top note. i would suggest that the person in question is...
civilian: damn you, stinkefeller!
fartographer: you. you farted. and that's how fartography works, son.
fartography by trilliam turdsworth December 23, 2018
Related Words
fartography
joe -isn't that lynda? she's one of those worthless art school kids that never works, isn't she?-
jen - oh no, she's majoring in fartography
jen - oh no, she's majoring in fartography
fartography by Comrade Plasternasty May 2, 2009
fatography
n. the art of taking pictures in a way that hides your true weight, so as to seem more attractive than you really are.
"So did you meet that chick you were talking to online?"
"Yeah...and you remember that really hot pic of her? Total fatography. She's 110% boom-boom."
"Yeah...and you remember that really hot pic of her? Total fatography. She's 110% boom-boom."
fatography by Derv March 29, 2008
fartographer
A person specialized in the study of what people eat and how they live based on the images and patterns left on the subject's underwear.
After having studied the subject's underwear, the fartographer quickly deduced that the subject had eaten spicey food the night before and had good posture.
fartographer by scott liebman November 7, 2007
Fartograhper
One who smells farts and rates them. I met one such chap on a european holiday, Neil From NZ. Strange guy, anyone who farted he felt like he had to tell you how bad/good it was, i scored a 10/10! see Fartograhpy
Fartograhper by jamesbrown April 22, 2003