Crumpet ring 

An anal stretching ring

"Mate, your sister's anal gaping pics are immense. "

"Yeah, she's been using that crumpet ring she got for Christmas off dad."

Crumpet ring by lemlemlem May 11, 2018

Crumpeting 

A British public school tradition generally practised by the upper classes, in which a crumpet is super-heated, covered in butter, and thrust between the buttocks of a chosen schoolboy. Often used as an initiation ritual. The crumpetee is expected to clench the hot crumpet between their buttocks as the butter runs down their backside, burning them. Should they allow the crumpet to fall, a greater punishment is often chosen.

This tradition is also practised among young gentleman's dining clubs and junior commissioned ranks of the military.

"I say, old boy! If Jenkins is to join this dining club, I expect him to tolerate a jolly harsh crumpeting!"

Crumpeting by Gizchern May 14, 2009

crumpeting 

driving on the left side of the road to mock the British

Freddy: Have you guys been crumpeting recently?
Connor: Yes, I ran over 12 children.
Hunter: Me too, but they were milfs.

crumpeting by WaterNotWet November 27, 2021

crumpeting 

driving in the left side of the road in a way to mock British people

Freddy: Were you the one crumpeting on the news?
Person 2: Yeah, I hate British people.

crumpeting by anonymous December 7, 2021

Crumpeting 

The act of a woman or person with a clitoris masturbating while laying face down.

Named after Netflix's Sex Education character Aimee, who is shown doing this in Season 1. Afterwards, she tells friends: “I’ve been wanking all night; I ate four packets of crumpets, and I think my clit might drop off."

Crumpeting is the preferred masturbation position of many people because it puts pleasurable weight and pressure on the genitals. There is also a feminist element to the celebration of crumpeting, in that a lot of porn designed to cater to the male gaze shows women wanking on their backs, legs splayed wide so that men can see everything; in reality, plenty of women prefer touching themselves in ways that are less about performing for others and more about genuinely pleasuring themselves.

"Crumpeting is my favourite way to reach orgasm. I like to lay on top of my vibrator with the duvet pulled over me, all cosy."

Crumpeting by CanCanOfWorms September 26, 2023

Crumpeting 

When you shove a warm, buttered crumpet up your arsehole.

Last week I caught Bogdan Crumpeting.

Crumpeting by Lord Pervert of Shittingswell November 18, 2023