A British public school tradition generally practised by the upper classes, in which a crumpet is super-heated, covered in butter, and thrust between the buttocks of a chosen schoolboy. Often used as an initiation ritual. The crumpetee is expected to clench the hot crumpet between their buttocks as the butter runs down their backside, burning them. Should they allow the crumpet to fall, a greater punishment is often chosen.

This tradition is also practised among young gentleman's dining clubs and junior commissioned ranks of the military.
"I say, old boy! If Jenkins is to join this dining club, I expect him to tolerate a jolly harsh crumpeting!"
by Gizchern May 14, 2009
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A yeast and flour based breakfast food, featuring lots of holes. Nice with butter.
Would you like another crumpet, Jeeves?
by suzylou October 25, 2003
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1) a biscuitty thingy peoples eat in England.
2) an STD similar to crabs, but like, different.
1) I will eat your soul for brunch with tea and crumpets!
2) Holy hell, that whore gave me crumpets!
by moony November 18, 2003
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