Skip to main content
Crofter.

Or
Crofta (for people who can't spell or are actually from the croft)

People with low self-esteem and no moral standards ofter found in scum infested council estates. Easily recognisable by a can of special brew in one hand a fag in the other and a mouth like a burnt out fuse board.
Ofcourse you stole that money out of my bag your a "crofter""crofta"

Best get to post office for my dole otherwise my lecki will run out like a proper "crofter""crofta"

What do you mean my kids are black that's just muck forgot to pay my water cause I iz a "crofter""crofta"

Wake up in the morning feeling like a "crofter""crofta" get my jobless arse outta bed for 12 walk to the postie with ma tinni pushing ma pram with ma kiddi fuck knows who the dad is could be the local Paki

What's got 500 feet and no teeth??.... the post office cue on dole day
Crofter by upperclass fuxker November 17, 2013

crofter's 

The only jelly I'll put in my belly
Person A : What's the best jelly brand?

Person B : Crofter's

Person C : Smuckers?

Person B : F A L S E H O O D
crofter's by Sir. Sing-a-alot May 17, 2019

Crofter’s pie 

The use of haggis as a dildo, or in the highlands of Scotland substituting haggis for lube.
“I was very lonely up on the hill so I gave my favourite sheep a crofter’s pie.”

Daniel Crofter Effect 

An effect in science discovered by Daniel Crofter where 2 objects have certain interactions with each other. These interactions can be a variety of different things. Many values of objects can change based on the Daniel Crofter Effect.
"Hey have you heard of the Daniel Crofter Effect." - guy 1
"Yeah don't they teach it in middle school?" - guy 2
"Yeah they do." - guy 1

Craftermath 

The resulting and overwhelming mess that is left lying all about after a full day, week, or month of creative pursuits. Massive amounts of creative supplies jumbled and piled all together, all about ones workspace, making it impossible to continue crafting until cleaned and possibly preventing any inspiration whatsoever.
After her much needed craft day, the resulting craftermath looked like a tornado went through her studio.
Craftermath by abbinme January 23, 2012

Blood Crafter 

One of the best fortnite youtuber's alive. A truly great person, whose ass is sore from being shot so much.
Cool Kid: Hey did you see Blood Crafter's new youtube vid
Cool Kid 2: Yeah he got shot in the ass
Blood Crafter by BigChungus69 January 16, 2019

Lara Crofted 

Lara Crofted is when you get impaled by an object
Oh my god! Call an ambulance, I just got Lara Crofted !!
Lara Crofted by alpetergriffin April 7, 2021
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Load more