Chocoblocked

When you're hanging out with a really health-conscious and/or skinny person and really want some chocolate yet choose not to eat it because you feel insecure about eating chocolate in front of the aforementioned health-conscious and/or skinny person.

I really wanted to buy some M&Ms from the vending machine, but I was chocoblocked by Ben, whose presence was a constant reminder that I should probably go on a diet.

by Twisteromono September 17, 2013

Cockblocked by Steve Jobs

The act or reactive measure when the opposite sex makes eye-contact with you and then proceeds to plug in their iPod as a defense mechanism to prevent you from making a move on them.

Josh: I saw this girl on the bus and was going to hit on her, then she busted out her iPod.

Sam: Aw man, you got cockblocked by Steve Jobs

by FreshPrince369 February 27, 2009

Cockblocked by Jesus

When an attractive girl will not date you because you think that Christianity is hogwash.

Girl: Sorry but I want a relationship that is sanctioned by the Almighty God.

Friend: ooooh boy, you just got cockblocked by Jesus

by bombus August 18, 2010

Cockblocked

when you are going to hookup with some chick and then someone (her friend, cousin, whatever) comes in and sees to it that it doesnt happen

tony getting cockblocked on g5 by whatever the hell her name was.

by jim June 5, 2003

Cockblocked By Association

When you can't date, or have sex, with someone because they're the friend of someone you dated, or had sex with. Most commonly experienced when one wants to date one of an ex's friends, but they can't, because they're the friend of their ex.

"-I wanna date Jenny, but she's my ex's best friend, so I can't.
-You my friend, have been cockblocked by association."

by DarkwingMotherfuckinDuck March 20, 2010

Cockblocked by Steve Jobs

When you're texting a perfect babe and then the iPhone's auto-correct kills the mood.

Victim: I wanna duck you in my parents ned. Tight cow.

Babe: ...?

Pervy Onlooker: Cockblocked by Steve Jobs again? That ducks, man.

by Vonnegut better. September 5, 2013

facebook cockblocked

The inability to post anything potentially objectionable or politically incorrect to your facebook account out of fear that your boss or co-worker may see it and exact retribution or blackmail.

"Man, I would like to post this article about why marijuana should be decriminalized, but I can't because my boss could see it and then, there goes my promotion". "Dude, you're facebook cockblocked, for real".

by mp2009 February 4, 2009