Any combination of an old, fat, gnarled, unsightly woman who is frumpy, dresses weird, etc. who doesn't have anything going for them besides their many cats at home.
Take a look at this old battlelack, she can't evendrive.
A baddass epic metal band that sings about middle earth. they use a "beauty and the beast" style where their lead vocals alternate between a woman singing and a man growling
Battlelore lyrics:
(Attack of the Orks)
They shall raze your villages, destroy your camps
Rape your cattle and slaughter your wives
Under the darkness they shall arrive
Hear the screams, prepare for war
An AWAY MESSAGE BATTEL!! occurs when you Instant Message someone while your away message is up, and in turn, get their away message - spawning two battling rapid-fire style auto-responses. Your screen scrolls really fast, your heart races; and in the heat of the moment, you yell it loud: "AWAY MESSAGE BATTEL!!"