Balzheimer's

Having the affliction of saying you forgot something that was really your fault and blaming it on someone else.

From the Daily Show with Jon Stewart:

"Cheney, your complaining about your plan? Can you ever lose? No wonder you're ever wrong!... I think it's become very clear: Dick Cheney is now in full-blown stage four Balzheimer's."

by Rodrigo M. July 1, 2009

Balzheimer's disease

An affliction affecting male subjects in which lapses of memory, specifically regarding the identity of their significant others, occur. This condition is usually triggered by short skirts, painted-on jeans, subtle feminine winks, and overt instances of camel toe. All men are afflicted to some degree and I sincerely pity the fool who dreams up a cure.

She took him back for the eleventh time as she fully understood the severity of his Balzheimer's disease.

by Dr. B. Hyve April 20, 2006

Balzheimer's Disease

The condition where one cannot remember that last time he got laid. Advanced stage: cannot remember with whom. Very advanced stage: Similar to advanced stage except he is married and faithful.

I cannot remember that last time I got, um, what's the word I'm looking for. Oh yeah, "laid." I must have Balzheimer's Disease.

by nuninthemorning August 7, 2009

Alzheimer's

A disease most commonly found in the older generation of people causing them to lose pre-existing memories and have trouble making new ones. More serious cases can lead to difficulty with language, disorientation, mood swings, etc.

Lil' Jimmy: "Mama, why doesn't Grandpa remember me?"
Mama: "He's got Alzheimer's, Honey, he won't remember you."
Lil' Jimmy: "Oh... Will Grandma get Old-Timer's too then?"

by CharlesJJJ November 3, 2016

Alzheimer's

Another nasty dementia that robs your loved ones of their own mind and makes you grieve them while they are still physically alive. There's much medical work being done to find a cure because it is going to hit alot of boomers hard in the next few years the same way it hit their parents hard.

Doctor: Your Mom's in the early stages of Alzheimer'.

Me: What is Alzheimer's?
Doctor: Alzheimer's is a form of dementia that destroys memories

by Five year old drinking coffee June 12, 2020

Chess Alzheimer's

When you're playing chess and you take so long thinking about what move you're going to make that you end up making an idiotic move you spotted in the first 5 seconds but forgot about later on.

During a game of chess, after thinking about his move for 20 minutes ...

Ryan: Ah ha! Eat that! You have been had my friend.
(Jon swoops in and takes Ryan's queen)
Ryan: (Gasp)
Jon: Looks like the ol' Chess Alzheimer's got you again. Checkmate, fool.
Ryan: (Tears up)
Jon: It's okay man. Let's go watch Upstream Color. It'll cheer you up.
Ryan: No thanks, I like stories that are actually good. You know, with a beginning, middle, and end. Fuck that $hit. I'm going to play Halo. (flips chess board and leaves with dignity)

by RhInO May 18, 2013

herbal Alzheimer's

The effects of marijuana usage that remain for a time after the high has worn off, such as forgetfulness, lack of motivation, apathy, and general emotional fucked-uppedness.

Not noticed so much in occasional users, but very obvious in those who buy Zig-Zags by the case.

Herbal Alzheimer's looks like Tommy Chong at his peak before his first weed of the day.

by da Graybeard August 6, 2009