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Autosexual 

A person who doesn't experience sexual attraction to others. People who identify as autosexual prefer being intimate with themselves eg: masturbating instead of being intimate with a partner.
M: Do you wanna hook up tonight?
Autosexual: No thank you. I have plans tonight *goes home and masturbates*

autosexual 

An individual who is sexually attracted to themselves.
Timothy is an autosexual. He'll be going out with himself tonight.

autosexual 

sexual orientation toward oneself; that is, preferring self-gratification over other forms of sexual activity. Often occurs as a result of numerous failed attempts at interpersonal relationships, leading the individual to make a conscious choice to become autosexual rather than face disappointment and frustration yet again.

May be observed with greater frequency in the near future as a result of the "Metrosexual Backlash," due to NO ONE being able to even BEGIN to guess the orientation of attractive, well-dressed males anymore!!

Numerous advantages to autosexuality include:

- no risk of pregnancy
- no risk of STD's being transmitted
- able to 'get lucky' every time at the bar or club
- the sex is always good
- no relationship issues like jealousy or cheating partner

... need I say more?

I mean, are there ANY bad things about it?
"God love 'em, but those damn metrosexuals have really fucked up my game to the point where I've decided it's way better to just be autosexual!"
autosexual by brooklyn516 August 17, 2004

Autosexual reproduction 

Reproducing with oneself, such as a hermaphrodite who is not sterile in either set of genitalia or a plant with both male and female parts.
"Well, go fuck yourself!"

"Actually, doing autosexual reproduction sounds like fun right now, thanks."
Autosexual reproduction by Acrazia October 5, 2011

Autosexual 

Adjective denoting an intense sexual desire for oneself. Note that this desire can be combined with other forms. (A combination autophile and heterosexual, for example)
Damn, I just sprouted a big rubbery looking in the mirror. I must be getting autosexual.
Autosexual by sum lanj? February 4, 2009

autosexual 

Someone who has sex with only himself or herself.
Unwilling to risk STDS, yet having not given up completely on life, she has been an autosexual since her divorce.
autosexual by mzcoyote May 24, 2010
More from Urban Dictionary

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
Literally "dirty" pronounced with a West Indian accent. Can also have a positive connotation, for example Sean Paul's album title "Dutty Rock".
"The girl is pretty but she corrupt and dutty!"

or, in a positive usage:

"Booya! That freestyle was dutty!"
Dutty by J Hall April 3, 2003
Word of the Day on October 1, 2026
korean word for madam, older woman
Ajumma wait a moment
Ajumma by aintnotinbutnice July 5, 2009
Word of the Day on September 30, 2026
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