18 definition by brooklyn516

sexual orientation toward oneself; that is, preferring self-gratification over other forms of sexual activity. Often occurs as a result of numerous failed attempts at interpersonal relationships, leading the individual to make a conscious choice to become autosexual rather than face disappointment and frustration yet again.

May be observed with greater frequency in the near future as a result of the "Metrosexual Backlash," due to NO ONE being able to even BEGIN to guess the orientation of attractive, well-dressed males anymore!!

Numerous advantages to autosexuality include:

- no risk of pregnancy
- no risk of STD's being transmitted
- able to 'get lucky' every time at the bar or club
- the sex is always good
- no relationship issues like jealousy or cheating partner

... need I say more?

I mean, are there ANY bad things about it?

leaving the last afterhours when the sun's been up for hours, and all the "regular" people are out and about doing whatever it is that they do all day, and you've been up all night partying, in the same sweaty club clothes for HOURS, and you have to squint cuz its so frickin BRIGHT outside and who knows where your sunglasses are, and everyone's STARING at you cuz they can tell you're still probably really a liiiiiittle too fucked up to be seen outside in the daytime just yet, so you're not making eye contact with ANYONE, and you just wanna be HOME with the blinds closed but its soooooooo... farrrrrrrrr... awayyyyyy and there's no cabs and everyone's still staring at you and you can smell yourself and DAMN you STINK and what the hell were you thinkin anyway you shoulda left a long time ago under cover of the darkness of the night, or at least before the damn sun came up, instead of waiting til all the drugs ran out and it became obvious that no one had any more, or if they did they weren't gonna share 'em with YOU.

Best when performed in an outfit consisting of black pants with the word "FUCK" written ALL OVER THEM, a cheap-looking white fake fur coat, purple aviator club glasses and the smudgey remains of fuschia lipstick, and accompanied by a very tall gay man dressed in black leather pants, a black sleeveless shirt, Dior "badass" sunglasses, smeary black eyeliner and streaky bronzer residue.

mixture of assorted powdered drugs. May include meth, coke, crushed ecstasy tablets, and K - if its been prepared by a circuit boi, probably contains Viagra as well.
Preferred by some because you get a little bit of the effect of all of the above at the same time, without too much of any one substance.

same as "on my back" or "in my face", when other people won't leave you alone and are bugging the hell out of you, particularly when it concerns something you have already taken care of, something you are completely aware of, or is completely under control.

phenomenon which occurs when straight women begin to realize that perhaps men who spend more time and money on their hair/skin/clothes than they do, are not exactly what they wanted after all. Mom always said "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!" and damn if she wasn't right!

Phase 1 of the Metrosexual Backlash first results in the "metro" receiving the exact OPPOSITE attention response that he was hoping for. Instead of gaining increased attention from prospective partners, DEcreased attention results due to the inability of said partners to ascertain the orientation of the "metro".

This leads to Phase 2 of the Metrosexual Backlash, an increase in autosexual behavior among, interestingly, both straight women and gay men, both of whom experience frustration at not being able to identify the "metro" as part of their dating pool.

Phase 3 has yet to be clearly identified, but it may include an increase in the frequency of friendships between gay males and straight females as they form alliances dedicated to determining the orientation of "metro" men.

accessory required for a particular activity. The definition varies depending on context. For example, at a party it may refer to one's "works" (razors, lighters, straws) which are necessary to prepare drugs for use. During sex, it could refer to condoms, lube, toys, etc.

the keypresses which spell "bitch" when using Rapid Text Entry on your cell phone, but RTE does not allow "swear-words" so you end up with "chuci"