Asstrument

Noun:

A musical instrument designed for rectal use.

1. Larry was born to be an asstrument player; his cheeks were rosy red and-a-ready for a rippin'.

2. Worn out after a long day of spouting shit, the asstrument section of the ASS(Alabama Syndicate Symphony) celebrated their hard work with enemas all around.

by Le Pétomane September 9, 2012

Airstrument

The act of playing an instrument in the air such as the air guitar, air trumpet, air flute, air drums or any other instrument you desire.

Dave airstrumented to the journey song the other night.

by Tizzette April 24, 2013

Assortments

A term created by my mom to describe the crazy weirdos and mental people that you see on downtown city streets. You will find assortments in every major city. Although, Philadelphia seems to have a lot of them. The assortments like to congregate near main city streets, tourist areas, convention centers and public transportation stations.

Sometimes, the assortments will ask you for money. Other times, they walk down the streets arguing or muttering something to themselves. They are completely mental so it's best to avoid them and not give them anything.

My mom would tell me to be careful downtown and to watch out for the assortments on Market Street.

by addhead14 November 12, 2011

asstrumpet

An asshat or asshelmet that makes so much noise or commotion that one cannot help but notice the fact that he/she is an asshat or asshelmet.

Eagle is the worlds biggest asstrumpet.

by EagleSJ January 31, 2005

Asstrumption

An extreme form of insane claim or conclusion

Let's not jump to any asstrumptions, the earth might really be round.

by Wilm Roget October 10, 2016

ASSortment

Refers to the variety of female posterior-types that a majority of horny studs like to have access to... small tight firm round derrieres for spanking and lap-sitting, large floppy jiggly heinies for deeper more satisfying kneading and squeezing, flatter and more massageable buns for simple rubbing and caressing, and so on.

Some dudes choose to stick with one type of butt-cheeks for all of their squeezing/spanking/humping needs, but as for me, I prefer more of an ASSortment.

by QuacksO September 21, 2017

Dirty Assortment

Making a desperate snack run to the fridge and grabbing a random selection of food items that do not go together at all.

"Just got myself cake, salmon and ice cream. Its a dirty assortment"

by Boxjellyfish May 9, 2017