Ass mittens 

Mittens that are designed to be worn on the rear rather than hands.

Ben- My ass is so cold.
Taylor- Here, I made you some ass mittens!

Ass mittens by Jae1716 February 14, 2006

Assmitten 

A derivative of Asshat. Where one has both hands up their ass instead of their head.

John: Why did you drop the hammer on my foot, you Assmitten.

Barry: I don't have hands up my ass!

Assmitten by Shambler August 26, 2004

assmittens 

Somebody who is pathetic and yet arrogantly exerts all the limited power he has.

The assmittens at the liquor store refused my ID again.

assmittens by Forseti April 26, 2006