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Shat-in-absentia 

The punitive act of 'leaving-behind' a large, commode-filling mass of fecal material that, through time, evaporation and vacancy creates an extremely unpleasant next-occupant arrival surprise; especially useful for time-share condos, infrequently accessed guest homes and seasonal-use facilities.
I'll never again be the first to enter THAT condo...the last renters shat-in-absentia. When I opened the door it was like being punched in the face by a shit-bag fist. Nas-T....
Shat-in-absentia by YAWA August 21, 2016

Abscondiscated 

When someone removed something from your possession that may or may not have belonged to you in the first place.
He just abscondiscated with the beer I found in this cooler.
Abscondiscated by BMWMotogirl March 21, 2016

The Absentia Lardum Effect 

The overwhelming sensation to consume bacon when the body witnesses something so utterly bland, tasteless, or otherwise unappealing.
I was walking past a vegan restaurant one day when I was suddenly overcome by the Absentia Lardum Effect. I immediately proceeded to the nearest fast food chain for a double bacon cheeseburger.
Ascentia ownes all
ascentia by Anonymous November 6, 2003

absconditioner

Noun: a big glob of conditioner that has secretly slid off the back of your skull to deposit itself somewhere else on your body.
I thought I was done with my hair, until i got out of the shower and found a big glob of absconditioner hiding out just above my ass.
absconditioner by theoceanfrog June 17, 2010

absconding 

Indian and British English: to run away and shit.
Malik misteriwalla is absconding from jail in Thiruvananthapuram
absconding by absconding May 18, 2014