AOLectomy 

A delicate surgical procedure involving the removal of an individual's America Online (ISP, browser, email account, screen name, and/or lifestyle), once the patient has reached internet maturity.

I was worried about Mom, but she seems to be recovering well after her AOLectomy. At least she's starting to get the hang of Google searches.

Unfortunately, David's AOLectomy didn't take. It's so sad watching him revert...I cry a little every time I hear "You've got mail!"

AOLectomy by dancingfiend December 18, 2009

Assectomy

Assectomy – the procedure in which an asshole is separated from an institution, employer or personal relationship because of being an asshole.

Some survive an assectomy by joining AA Assholes Anonymous and participating in a 12-step program to reform their lives. Others just go on to another institution, employer or personal relationship to repeat the cycle in an endless loop of assholiness.

When Bill was dumped by Karen, he went through a brief period of remorse following the assectomy but did not continue his 12-step Assholes Anonymous group and went on to inflict his assholiness on yet another sad but unknowing victim.

Assectomy by Marthakay November 9, 2008

applectomy 

A medical condition in which prolonged usage of Apple technology results in degenerative brain diseases. Applectomy is subsequently branched into a wide variety of symptomatic illnesses based on the level and type of exposure to Apple products.

Decreased Motor Cortex Stimulation: Prolonged usage of Apple's touch screen technology will result in the degeneration of the motor cortex. Resulting in a loss of fine motor skills and overall finger dexterity needed to finely manipulate items. Items such as a keyboard.

Appsosis: A debilitating mental illness brought about by chronic exposure to the Apple iPhone's third party applications causes dementia and neurosis among patients overly engrossed into their recently purchased "app".

I-Form Dyslexia: A learning disability that stems from habitual usage of Apple's "i" products i.e "iPod", "iPhone", "iMovie". Patients begin to refer to objects with the prefix lowercase "i". Referring to a pet dog as "iDog" or a friend as an "iFriend" is a sign of I-Form Dyslexia

Jim: Hey Sarah how are you doing today?

Sarah: *In profound vegetative state*

Jim: Sarah please stop using your iPhone, Please! Your family needs you...

Sarah: *In profound vegetative state*

Doctor: I'm sorry Jim but she's suffering from late stage applectomy. Her brain has atrophied from prolonged use of her iPhone.

Jim: God no....

applectomy by Define Me! March 21, 2009

Lolectomy 

1. Something that severely pisses you off that you lose your sense of humour.

2. Something that is so seriously unfunny that it cuts you off mid-laugh.

Dude you should not have deep fried my new ipod, it has given me a serious lolectomy.

Lolectomy by Zeddie June 2, 2009

assectomy

When one's ass gets procedurally and surgically removed. Hurts like fuck.

I can't sit on my chair because of this damn assectomy

assectomy by Anus Remover Extrordanar March 10, 2009

analectomy 

Prompt removal of the anus due to infection or for cosmectic purposes.

Fred, does this dress make me look fat?
Yeah, it does. Maybe you should get an analectomy.

analectomy by Cinnamon Crime Ring (CCR) May 2, 2004

Abectomy

Another word for sexy and aroused.

Damn looking kinda Abectomy today.

Abectomy by Bootysniffer54 March 23, 2021