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applectomy

A medical condition in which prolonged usage of Apple technology results in degenerative brain diseases. Applectomy is subsequently branched into a wide variety of symptomatic illnesses based on the level and type of exposure to Apple products.

Decreased Motor Cortex Stimulation: Prolonged usage of Apple's touch screen technology will result in the degeneration of the motor cortex. Resulting in a loss of fine motor skills and overall finger dexterity needed to finely manipulate items. Items such as a keyboard.

Appsosis: A debilitating mental illness brought about by chronic exposure to the Apple iPhone's third party applications causes dementia and neurosis among patients overly engrossed into their recently purchased "app".

I-Form Dyslexia: A learning disability that stems from habitual usage of Apple's "i" products i.e "iPod", "iPhone", "iMovie". Patients begin to refer to objects with the prefix lowercase "i". Referring to a pet dog as "iDog" or a friend as an "iFriend" is a sign of I-Form Dyslexia
Jim: Hey Sarah how are you doing today?

Sarah: *In profound vegetative state*

Jim: Sarah please stop using your iPhone, Please! Your family needs you...

Sarah: *In profound vegetative state*

Doctor: I'm sorry Jim but she's suffering from late stage applectomy. Her brain has atrophied from prolonged use of her iPhone.

Jim: God no....
by Define Me! March 21, 2009
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AOLectomy

A delicate surgical procedure involving the removal of an individual's America Online (ISP, browser, email account, screen name, and/or lifestyle), once the patient has reached internet maturity.
I was worried about Mom, but she seems to be recovering well after her AOLectomy. At least she's starting to get the hang of Google searches.

Unfortunately, David's AOLectomy didn't take. It's so sad watching him revert...I cry a little every time I hear "You've got mail!"
by dancingfiend December 18, 2009
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Related Words

analectomy

Prompt removal of the anus due to infection or for cosmectic purposes.
Fred, does this dress make me look fat?
Yeah, it does. Maybe you should get an analectomy.
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applecrombie

n.
(1) all Apple stores.

adj.
(1) the ambiance fostered at Apple stores.
(2) the attitude of all Apple users; a distinguishing characteristic separating Mac and PC users.
Look at his PC... no, don't stare!!! He's so NOT applecrombie... loser!
by weinerburger October 9, 2010
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Analectomy

The medical procedure performed to clear up a persistent case of analsitus.
An analectomy was the only hope for Richard's persistent analsitus.
by G. Rubenneorg September 10, 2022
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