Christmas 

A time when an obese, chubby, and hairy man with a body mass index of 'obesity category III' (before cookies) uses the illegal tactic of breaking and entering to raid your home, steal your cookies, and then leave presents that you will most likely be anticipating for the whole night.

Is literally invisible when you try to catch him in the act. Nothing will work. (Or course, unless, you use thermonuclear bombs.)

"How was your Christmas?"
"A bald obese guy broke into my home and stole my cookies."
"That's nice. What did you get?"
"Coal."

Christmas by Dboy69420 December 29, 2020

Christmas 

A wonderful time when somebody breaks into your house and eats your cookies, whilst replacing the food with presents. <3

"Look! It's Christmas! I wonder if the happy chubby dude left me any presents!!"

Christmas by ramen child December 6, 2016

Christmas 

A collection of tradition's from all sorts of European pagan holidays around the time of the Winter Solstice. It used to be a violent party, but somehow became a family holiday. The Church hated Christmas, until they realised that they could "convert" it to Christianity. They claimed that Jesus was born on this day and badaboom badabing, ba-humbug. Now it's alright, I suppose.

Child: Yay! It's Christmas! What did you get me daddy?
Man: Your not my son. I'll fucking buy you something when you earn it, you bastard.

Christmas by gotspunk?! December 24, 2016

Christmas 

The celebration of the birth of commercialism... Oh yea, and Jesus.

I'm gonna set up traps to kill Santa.

Christmas by The Legend of Zelda December 14, 2004

christmas 

A celebration of humanity dating back thousands of years. It originated as a pagan celebration of the birth of the Sun, as it was celebrated on the winter equinox, and after that point, days got longer. When the Catholics/ Christians took over these pagan peoples, they replaced their holiday with their own Birth of the Son, (as in of God) to make the transition to Christianity's traditions easier. The idea of Santa Claus and his reindeer was created in the 1800s, and is loosely based on St. Nicholas, who gave random presents to people. The idea of a christmas tree dates back to German celebrations of Christmas thousands of years ago. They used an evergreen tree to symbolize life and hope in dark times, and hung apples on it. In modern times, it has again lost its religious meaning and is now used as a time of secular "joy." People spend the time with their family or friends and exchange gifts, a tradition from the Birth of Jesus. (As it is the birthday of the Lord, and people can't give Him material gifts, they exchange them with others.)

Christmas happens every year, whether we like it or not.

christmas by Kaila January 1, 2004

Christmas 

A widely celebrated end-of-the-year profit scam.

Ah, Christmas... the time to total your credit cards in complete disregard of Jesus Christ's birthday.

Christmas by stop it loser December 23, 2007

Christmas 

Christmas is a fun holiday. On Christmas people get presents and who doesn’t like presents. It is also a time to spend time with family and friends.

Santa: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas

Lucy: Did you Bring presents for us?
Santa: Of course I did

Lucy: Yay! Can we open the presents now?
Rosie: And we can spend time with family and friends

Christmas by The real one2010 October 19, 2019