humpsterbate

the act of keeping your hand stationed in a still circular pose around your cock while he thrusts his hips forward, providing the same hip motion as sexual intercourse.

Rod The Bod found he ejaculated quicker whilst humpsterbating

by ryan December 1, 2004

hasturbate

to masturbate while under the hallucinogenic effect of opioids

Dude 1: that new VR porn is so realistic! It took me to all kinds of places besides the bedroom.
I remember surfing the pacific, wrestling some hobos, going down on Danny Devito and punching a puma!
Dude 2: umm I was using the VR headset last night....
Dude 1: Oh...I may have just done a whole heap of heroin instead
Dude 2: .....
Danny Devito: next time you hasturbate fella leave me out of it!
Dude 2: bet he didn't complain last night! (high fives dude 1)

by GozUnlimited July 27, 2016

Wamsterbate

When a man masturbates while crying, using his own tears as a lubricant.

Will: "Hey I accidentally walked in on jake wamsterbating to a picture of his old girlfriend."

Steve: "Haha Jake wamsterbates? That's hilarious!"

by Palmertabs December 29, 2013

hamsterbating

the hamster version of masturbation
even though they are actually cleaning themselves, it looks more like they are pleasing themselves

Bruno: Hey man, what in the world is your hamster doing?
Alfie: Oh, don't worry about it, he's just hamsterbating.
Bruno: Gross man, you need to get him a woman!

by Hamster man November 11, 2006

hamsterboat

A boat filled with hamsters

#1:i see a hamsterboat over there
#2: WTF is a hamsterboat

by Silt April 29, 2007

hamstertape

Usually duct tape or similar strong tape used to wrap around the hamster before doing the nasty with it so that it doesn't burst.

'Hey Pete, nice hamster you have there! By the way, do you have any tape I could use?'
'What are you going to do with it?'
'Have you ever heard of hamstertape?'

by bobgren May 29, 2009

Hasterbation

The act of masterbating to orgasm as quickly as possible, usually due to the need for sexual release in a restricted time period. If the hasterbater does not orgasm in time, they will suffer terribly until another chance arrives.

A quick bit of hasterbation should ensure you won't be sitting through school with blue balls.

by Clorox Cunt October 25, 2016